Chapter One
Angelina
Taking this one step through the doorway of my apartment wouldn’t kill me. Logically I knew that, but somehow my body considered the mere thought of walking out of my apartment a step that could possibly end the world.
At least my world.
I drew in a deep breath, but it didn’t change the drum solo pounding away at my ribcage.
“I can,” I whispered. “I’ve been practicing. I’m strong.”
“Yes, you are, Angelina.” Jenna’s soft voice whispered in my ear.
She was an amazing therapist. Heck, it was two in the morning, and she was on the phone with me, helping me take this first step.
I glanced at my phone and her wide, green eyes filled the small screen. She nodded, encouraging me. Like she had for the past two years.
Two freaking years it’s taken me to get through the doorway of my apartment and into the elevator. Tonight’s goal: The Lobby.
The first few steps were always the toughest. Like when I was running on my treadmill, it was difficult to get started, but once I was running, I fell into a groove, and it was awesome.
It was the same with this damn doorway. It tried to trip me up every time.
But not tonight. I was going to get to that lobby if it was the last thing I did.
A wave of anxiety stormed through my stomach, clenching the muscles. Heat steamed my cheeks, but a chill puckered the skin along my arms beneath my long sleeved thermal.
I can do this. I will not let them control me.
“Breathe, Angelina,” Jenna reminded me.
How did I do that again? Oh, yeah. In through the nose, out through the mouth.
“Name your songs if you need to,” Jenna said.
I nodded and eased my hand down, still holding the electronic lifeline, but I didn’t want to see Jenna’s face. I needed to be strong. I could do this.
Sober. Family Portrait. Try.As I rolled through the list of songs from my favorite, kick-ass, tougher than nails artist, P!nk, I felt my confidence rising. It was a silly safeguard, but it worked.
I lifted my foot toward the threshold of the doorway—that thin silver frame on the floor separating my plush burgundy carpet from the hallway outside. I swallowed hard, squashing the tears threatening to choke me.
Let’s Get The Party Started, Who Knew.
I squeezed my phone as my foot planted on the worn carpet outside my door.Yes!
God, I was sick. For this one little step to give me so much pleasure was…insane. But I had to do this. Had to. I was graduating this year, and I was bound and determined to make it to graduation.
Or at least a graduation party.
Something to celebrate the monumental occurrence of me getting my degree. Because I’d been in this apartment three years and twelve days, and I’d never left.
As in ever.
And I was more than ready to leave.
“Okay! I can do this. Focus,” I said out loud.
The first step turned into another, and I was standing outside my door. I glanced to my right, toward the elevator, and the walls suddenly slanted. The elevator door seemed to stretch until it was a mile away from me.