No, today is my day off; it’s the first day of my weekend, and I am going to enjoy it. That tip that Hunter gave me for waiting on his fellow mafia king is practically burning a hole through my bank account, so I may as well go have some fun.
There’s not really a beach in the part of Ohio where I grew up. We have a few lakes, but nothing like the ocean, and one of the reasons I was excited to move to California was to be closer to the Pacific, so I’ve decided that today is as good a day as any to drive down the coast, find a secluded beach, and spend some time in the sun. The fact that it is slightly overcast will not deter me. I grab a book I’ve been wanting to read for a while, as well as my bathing suit, just in case, a towel, a nice, big floppy hat, some sunscreen, and my sunglasses.
Then I load up into my car and head in that direction, wishing I had a convertible so I could feel the wind whipping through my hair, but the tip Hunter gave me is not quite big enough to stop by the car dealership.
It is big enough for me to go through the drive-thru of a popular coffee place and get a large latte and a pastry, though, so I do exactly that before continuing my adventure.
I drive through city traffic and then out through the suburbs before I even glance at the clock. I want to be as far away from the hustle and bustle as I can get without ending up in a situation where I’m forced to get a hotel for the night. I drive through towns that get smaller and smaller until I’ve been driving for about an hour and a half since I left LA, and I decide this is the perfect place for me to pull over and see what coastal living is all about.
A few other cars are in the beach parking lot as I pull in and get out, stretching my back and taking a look at the beach. It’s gorgeous, and I can’t wait to get closer to the ocean.
My feet are warm in the sand as my flip-flops sink in and nearly disappear with every step. The ocean begins to call to me, a soft roar that ripples as the white foam licks the shoreline and then retreats. Seagulls call overhead, circling, looking for food. White, fluffy clouds like something out of a Bob Ross painting drift lazily by, and in the distance, I see the billowing sail of a boat trying to collect the soft breeze for fuel.
I can’t help but stop and breathe in the salty air. It smells so crisp and clean, and with each inhale, a spark of renewal ignites within me. I’m beginning to forget all of the shit I’ve been through the last few days.
The first thing I must do is dip my toes in the water. I think it may be a bit chilly today because I don’t see many people actually playing in the waves. I know that there are different currents and things like that which affect the water temperature, though I’m no ocean expert. I love it already, though, and we just met.
That thought has me thinking of Hunter, and I have to shove the thoughts out of my mind. I do not love him—I did not love him—and it is silly for me to even let the thought enter my mind…
I slip my flip-flops off and walk over. The water is a bit chilly as I stick my toes in, but it feels good, refreshing. My feet sink into the wet sand that squishes between my toes. I lift my head to the sun and let it warm my face as a huge smile seems to erase all of the hardship of the last few days. I knew I needed to be outside today, and this is the perfect place to get some Vitamin D.
A little ways down the beach, a family has a large towel spread out, and the dad is playing with two little girls in the surf while the pregnant mama watches, rubbing her belly. They aren’t going too far into the chilly water, but whenever it reaches up and laps at their legs, they squeal and latch on to their daddy. I get a little misty-eyed looking at them because it makes me miss my own dad.
It makes me miss my own family. Not just my parents and being little, but somehow, it makes me miss the fact that I don’t have a family like that yet. I don’t have a man who loves me enough to want to have two adorable children and one on the way, with me. I don’t have anything anywhere near that.
With a heavy sigh, I turn around and find a spot farther down, away from their giggles and squeals, and see a place near a large rock next to a palm tree to spread out my towel so I can read. It’s beautiful here, and as I settle onto the towel, I try to let all of the worries that have been consuming me lately go, but it’s hard. I grab my book out of my bag and remind myself of what it’s about. I’ve been excited to read it for a while but haven’t made time.
My book is open, but my eyes are on the horizon as I stare out at the surf. I can’t help but think about how much my life has changed since I got to California. I never would’ve thought I’d score such an amazing job as the one I have at Club Limelight, and I’ve already made such great friends.
When I think about Hunter, my heart aches and my stomach twists into a knot again. It seems like my emotions are always on a roller coaster with him, and I know that’s not healthy for me. I need to let him go. If I can forget about what happened between us, ignore his existence, and just go on about my job, my life will be much happier.
That will be easier said than done, but with time, I should be able to manage. It’s not as if he will go out of his way to speak to me anyway. He didn’t those first few weeks when there was clearly something going on between us, after he kissed me in his car. He stayed away from me like he thought I had the plague or something.
The ocean draws slightly closer as I think about how powerful Hunter is. He makes Mitch, my horrible stepdad, look like a cockroach that can easily be squashed. I remember thinking I could never break free of Mitch’s grasp when I was younger, and now, I know people who could make him disappear without a trace. It’s too bad Hunter and I aren’t on speaking terms, or maybe that’s what I’d get my mother for Christmas.
Not that she’d appreciate it. How did she get so sucked in by him that he can do this to her, and she doesn’t even notice? She just let him pull her into his world where he is lord of everything, and she’s a serf.
The waves are making me tired, so I decide to lie back and rest, letting my mind go blank. I’m not going to worry about my family, present or future. I’m not going to worry about Hunter and the fact that he is not the person I thought he was or that we didn’t use a condom. I’m just going to let the ocean sing me a lullaby.
I doze off, and when I open my eyes again, the sun is going down. Beautiful shades of pink, yellow, and orange glow from the heavens, and it’s enough to take my breath away. I sit and stare at it until the sun is almost invisible below the horizon, and then I decide I’d better head home. I’m hungry for one, and I really don’t want to drive through city traffic too late at night.
Gathering up my belongings, I head to my car, glad I came here. It’s been an amazing day, and I know I can go back to work on Tuesday with my head held high.
I get my keys out and have them ready. Glancing around, I see that the family is gone, and there are only a few people milling around. A few of them look a bit shady. I don’t really know this town or what it’s like after dark, so I decide to be cautious. I walk with a purpose toward my car.
My key is in the lock, ready to turn, when I sense someone on my right and turn to see a guy in a dirty white shirt and board shorts coming over. He looks about ten years older than me, and even at this distance, I can smell that he’s been drinking.
“Hey there, sweetie,” he says, a crooked grin on his face.
“Stay away from me,” I tell him.
“What?” he asks, as if I’ve done something wrong in expressing that I don’t want to be bothered. “I just wanted to see if you wanted to have a little fun.”
He gets too close to me, and I don’t think twice about what I do next. Taking a page from Hunter’s playbook, I attack first and ask questions later, ramming my knee right into the asshole’s crotch.
Doubling over, he backs up, grabbing at his junk. “What the fuck?”
“I told you to stay away,” I shout at him. “What the fuck is the matter with you men that you think you can just do whatever the fuck you want to, huh?”