A mischievous glint in his eye, Nico chuckled. “I was just thinking how awkward it will be now that I have to thank Emiliano for this evening.”
River squealed with laughter and slapped him on the arm playfully. But then Nico’s laughter faded, and he gently stroked her cheek, an inscrutable look on his face. He was thinking something, but she couldn’t tell what it was.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
He nodded. “Never been better. Especially now that I know you’re mine.”
“Oh, I belong to you, do I?”
He nodded. “Yes. You do.”
There was a hard edge in his voice that told her he was serious. She didn’t know what he meant when he said she belonged to him. He knew she was leaving. He knew they couldn’t be like boyfriend and girlfriend. She had an entire life waiting for her back home. River turned to him again and that dark and serious gleam in his eye melted away and was replaced by that smile that warmed her from the inside and filled her with the urge to have him again.
“How about a shower?” he asked.
“You read my mind,” she replied suggestively.
River squealed and giggled again as Nico scooped her up and carried her toward the bathroom. And as they walked, a strange thought popped into her mind: would it be so bad to be his?
7
River awoke the next morning to an empty bed. She rolled over and though she could still smell faint traces of Nico and see the rumpled sheets where he’d slept, it was like he’d disappeared. Like he’d never been there, and she’d dreamed the entire thing. She looked toward the bathroom thinking maybe he was in there, but the door was open, and it was empty. She was alone.
Throwing back the covers, River rolled out of bed and stomped into the bathroom, and slammed the door behind her. She brushed her teeth then jumped into the shower, angrily scrubbing herself until her skin was red and felt a bit raw. They’d showered after screwing on the table last night but that had turned into screwing several more times and River was feeling so angry, she wanted to scrub off all traces of him.
When she was done, she toweled herself off and then threw on a pair of yoga pants, an oversized hoodie, and some socks. It was chilly inside her apartment. She just hadn’t noticed last night with all the physical activity that had kept her warm. As the thought passed through her mind and felt the rush of heat through her intimate parts, she slapped her forehead and tried to banish it.
“Knock it off,” she told her body.
River stomped down to the kitchen and started banging around in the cupboards as she put on a pot of coffee. Everything she was doing was all part of her normal morning routine and it was something she usually found soothing. Her morning M.O. usually helped her calm and ground herself and focus on the day ahead. But it wasn’t working this morning. She was agitated and nothing she was doing was helping to calm her mind.
Once there was enough coffee in the pot, she poured herself a cup, then huffed out onto the small balcony that overlooked a square between the building across from her. River liked to sit there in the mornings and watch the children play. Soccer was what they were usually up to, though they sometimes played different games that she didn’t recognize, let alone know the rules to. This morning, it was soccer. At least that was one part of her routine that felt right.
“Buongiorno, River,” one of the kids called to her.
River waved back and offered him a smile she hoped looked more genuine than it felt. Over her time there, she’d gotten to know some of the kids in the area and often practiced her Italian on them. They often helped her with her pronunciation and whatnot. Usually after laughing and teasing her about it, but it was all in good fun.
“Buongiorno,” she called back. “Segna un gol per me.”
He laughed at her request that he score a goal for her and gave her a wave before turning back to his game. River sat down with her cup of coffee and turned her face up to the sky. It was overcast, gloomy, and looked like it would rain later, which fit her mood perfectly. She leaned back in her seat and took a sip of her coffee, doing her best to settle her nerves and calm down.
She’d heard of plenty of women going to bed with a man only to wake up alone. It wasn’t a new thing. Hell, Evie had told her about a couple of guys she’d been with who snuck out before dawn. River just never imagined she’d be in the same boat. She never imagined she would be with a guy who would be so callous and cold as to sneak away after she gave herself to him. The first guy she’d given herself to at that.
But then, River never imagined that she’d be moping and whining after some guy either. She prided herself on being an independent woman. She prided herself on her strength. On the fact that she didn’t need a man to be happy or to feel some sense of completion within herself. River always believed that she was enough. And now, faced with the fact that a guy had snuck out in the middle of the night after fucking her, she was falling to pieces. She blew out a long, disgusted breath and shook her head.
“Get a grip, River. It’s not like he promised to marry you or something,” she muttered. “It’s not like he promised you any sort of relationship. Or that you even wanted one.”
The sound of the children below laughing and calling to one another as they played echoed up to her. It was a sweet sound. One she should be able to find some sense of comfort in. And she tried. She really tried to find the sound as soothing and relaxing as she normally did. Try as she might though, there was no joy to be found.
River finished her coffee and got up. She went inside and looked at her laptop, checked her emails, and tried to figure out what she was going to do for the day. She needed to do something to keep herself busy. To keep her mind occupied. To keep herself from obsessing about why she and Nico had shared such an incredible night and he’d abandoned her before she woke up.
The thing was, River didn’t even know why she was so upset. She’d had a terrific night. It was her idea from the start. She wanted Nico. She’d wanted to feel his hands on her. His mouth on her. She had desperately wanted to feel his cock inside of her. River had never been sentimental about her virginity and wasn’t waiting for marriage or anything as silly and arbitrary as that. She only wanted her first time to be special.
And to that end, River couldn’t have asked for a more amazing way to lose her virginity than she’d had with Nico last night. She couldn’t possibly have been more pleased. To have been with somebody who wasn’t a sweaty, fumbling, teenage boy whose only goal was to stick it in her was more than she’d expected. River had been with a man. She’d given herself to somebody who had taken the time to ensure her pleasure. Who’d been focused on making sure she enjoyed the experience and was satisfied. Who’d made sure she got off harder than she ever had in her entire life… multiple times.
Last night had been amazing. Nico had been an attentive and passionate lover. He’d set the bar high for anybody who came after him, that was for sure. She’d done what Evie had been encouraging her to do… to live a little. To make some memories. And River had definitely made memories that she would carry with her for the rest of her life. She knew she would be thinking about last night to the end of her days. To that end, in what she was sure would be Evie’s estimation, last night couldn’t have been more of a success.
So, why then, was she so upset that it was over? Why was she so mad that Nico had left? He got what he wanted, and River had gotten way more than she could have ever asked for. That should be enough. And yet, for some reason, it wasn't. She wanted more. What she wasn’t sure of, was whether she simply just wanted more sex or if she wanted more from Nico himself. And it was that chaos in her brain and that uncertainty that was fueling her angst.