I smile at her and watch for a second as she leaves the hospital to go and do what I’ve asked. Then, I head to Seraphine’s room. For a minute, I stand outside the door and listen as she talks with Lilly. I'm not eavesdropping on purpose, but sometimes I tend to do a lot of talking and not enough listening. So, I take this opportunity for a moment to listen.
I can hear the happiness in Lilly’s voice as she talks to Seraphine about the babies, and about how happy she is that Seraphine is back. I can hear in her voice how much she wants us all to be a family. I find myself wanting to do now, more than anything than I have ever wanted to do in my whole entire life, is make that wish happen for her.
And as soon as Seraphine and our babies are released from this hospital, I have a few things in the works to ensure that I give our new little family the best possible chance to make it all work out. I feel more exhilarated than I have ever felt, with that sort of kinetic energy that comes from sheer excitement.
I regret a lot of things in my life, but this is definitely not one of them. The fact that Seraphine is back, my babies are born, and soon we will all be able to go home together, is the chance at a life that I never thought I would be able to have again, and the chance at a family that I never thought I would be able to give Lilly again either.
This time, I am not going to take a single moment of it for granted. Maybe that was the whole point of going through all of this—to finally realize that no matter how much I’ve been through, there is still something wonderful to look forward to if I just take the leap of faith and allow it in.
If Bella was looking down at Lilly and Seraphine right now, I know that she would be happy, and that makes me feel as if I can finally move on.
Chapter Nineteen
Seraphine
When I wake up again this time, the very first thing that I see, with her kindly face looking back at me in front of the backdrop of flowers, isLorna. I want to reach out and hug her for having been the one to pick up the phone when I called for help. In fact, I do try to reach out and hug her, but it tugs against my IV and sends a pinch up my arm.
“There, don’t you worry sweet new mama,” she says as she leans in to give me a hug instead. “Boy, Seraphine, I am so glad to see you awake and looking like you survived all of this like an actual hero.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” I laugh. It hurts when I laugh, and I have to hold my arm against my stomach to ease some of the pain there.
“Want me to get the nurse?” she asks.
“No, I’m okay. It’s not that bad and I want to be able to stay awake for more than a hot minute. That pain medication lays me out.”
“That’s how you know it’s the good stuff,” she teases.
I look around the room and gather my bearings again.
“Don’t worry,” she smiles softly when she sees my eyes search the chair in the corner where Chad had been asleep the last time I woke up. “He’ll be right back soon. I had to practicallyforcethat man to go home and get a few hours of sleep. He hasn’t left your side the entire time.”
It makes me warm on the inside to think of Chad staying with me throughout all of this. I feel like I’m missing pieces of some of the events that happened, and I really hope that Lorna can fill me in.
She helps me to sit up in the bed so that I can look around some more. I haven’t really had a chance to take it all in yet, this forested wonderland of flowers. And I still feel groggy and weak, and disoriented by all of the stuff in the room. It looks much more like a fancy spa than a sterile hospital room, and it smells deliciously of fresh-cut flowers.
“He brought youallof this,” Lorna says as she waves her hand around at all the flowers and stuff in the room. “Just so that you would feel more comfortable here. That is really something, if you ask me.”
I smile and lean a little to smell one of the closest roses that is resting in a bouquet of lilies, baby’s breath, and fir greens.
“I was wrong about the kind of man that he is, Seraphine. I’ll be the first to admit when I am wrong about something, and I was wrong about him.”
“Chad?”
She nods. “I thought for sure that I had him pegged to be just like all those other fancy-pants rich guys, but he isn’t. He’sdifferent. He really cares about you and those babies, and not just because he filled your room full of flowers. He has been watching over you and the babies around the clock. Do you remember the advice I gave you?”
I think for a minute and try to recall all of themanyconversations I’ve had with Lorna in which she has shared her years’ worth of experience and advice with me. But I am pretty sure I know which thing she is talking about.
“The advice about raising these babies without him?”
“That’s the one. Well, it was the wrong advice to give. The two of you have a chance to make a beautiful life here together now, I think. And you certainly have the beginnings of a beautiful family.”
“Lorna, have you gone soft?” I tease her with a grin.
“Heck no,” she laughs. “I still call them as I see them, and I’m telling you that right now, with you, Chad, his girl, and your babies, I see something pretty damn special. I shouldn’t have ever suggested that you walk away from it.”
“It was ultimately my decision,” I say. “Right or wrong. I’m just glad that I didn’t make it all the way to upstate New York before I realized that it was a mistake.”
I see one of the nurses walk past the open doorway pushing a small bassinet and my thoughts immediately turn toward the babies.