She threw her hands up in the air. “I hadn’t seen you in years and I had no idea you were back in town. Do you think you would’ve handled it any better if I’d sprung it on you then?”
“Maybe not then,” I agreed. “But we’ve had quiet moments since then, Sadie. Why here? Why now?”
“It was a mistake, I think.” She paced back and forth in front of me before holding her hand out for the wine bottle. She emptied what was left in it and set it down on an end table with a thunk. “I don’t know. I just saw you interacting with them and I wanted you to know that they’re yours. You looked good with them. I didn’t want to hide it anymore.”
“I still don’t understand.”
“I told you because I love you.” She met my eyes for a brief moment before looking away again. “Because I didn’t want to lie. Because I want you to be their father. They deserve to know their dad.”
“I never wanted to be a father, Sadie,” I said, my voice sounding hoarse to my own ears. “How could I be? My father shipped me off for Tides to raise when I was just a kid. I don’t know how to do it.”
“Yes, you do,” she argued. “It’s instinctual. Sure, it might sound scary. But so was being twenty years old and being told I was going to give birth to triplets. We can do this because we’ll be together.”
“You know I like you, Sadie,” I said, shaking my head with disbelief. “Love you, even. You didn’t have to try to trap me with a litter of kids like this. I would’ve wanted to be with you — just you.”
It seemed like all of the air was sucked out of the room in an instant. I regretted the words I’d uttered immediately.
“Out. Get. Out.”
Sadie was pale with fury, her arm extended, a single finger pointing toward the door.
I gave a heavy sigh. “I didn’t mean it like that. You know I didn’t.”
“You said what you said. Now get out.”
“Malysh, it was a mistake.”
“Don’t you dare ‘baby’ me,” she said. “You were my biggest mistake. To think that I actually wanted you to know — that I thought you’d be excited.” She laughed, but it came out more like a sob. “Sure, maybe surprised at first. But eventually excited. You’re good with them. They like you. I was stupid to think we could make this work. That we could actually be a family.”
“We’re going to figure this out. Just give me a chance, Sadie.”
“Sure, maybe we’ll figure it out.” She set her shoulders and jutted out that stubborn little chin at me. “But not here. Not right now. Because you’re leaving. And for the record? We’re doing just fine on our own. We don’t need you in the picture.”
I couldn’t argue with her. Not when she was like this. And not after the terrible thing I’d said to her.
The night felt darker as I walked to the Tesla. Not even the beams of the headlights on the road made me feel any more secure — or like I actually knew where I was going or what I was doing.
Because Sadie was right. She was doing fine on her own.
I, on the other hand, was not.
I’d made a massive fucking error. And I needed to figure out how to solve it. I needed her in my life. I’d known those kids were a package deal.
Now that I knew they were mine, it just made the stakes even higher.