Happiness filled me at what Vas was implying, that Sacha and Bodhi were finally having sex, but at the same time, a pang of hurt churned in my gut.Bodhi. The one man I hadn’t been able to reconnect with yet. I missed him, and it seemed like I would continue to do so because he was finding every possible way to avoid me.
“That’s good for them then,” I said, my voice slightly off.
The front door opened before Vas could reply, and I heard Blake and their guys talking as they came downstairs. It seemed breakfast was going to be a party, but Vas’ pointed look told me he wasn’t going to forget what we were talking about.
By the time Blake and their crew made it to us, Alexei and Maksim had wandered inside. They were talking quietly together when Sacha and Bodhi arrived. A hint of self-consciousness hit when Bodhi met my gaze then quickly looked away. I saw Sacha say something to him, but I slipped out when everyone started talking, making the excuse that I needed to go to the bathroom. Technically, it was true, but that wasn’t the reason I needed to get out of there.
I felt their stares on me as I left, but no one moved to stop me. The bathroom was on the other side of the living room, and I made sure to lock the door behind me this time. Bracing my hands on the sink, I tried to remind myself that this was a lot for anyone to adjust to and that I hadn’t expected anyone to take the news well. But my heart twisted at the thought that Bodhi might turn his back on me.
On us.
I pressed a hand to my abdomen as my stomach flipped.Please don’t get sick. Please don’t get sick.My mantra was interrupted by a light knock on the door.
“Nic?”
Oh fuck.It was Bodhi.
“Yes?”
There was a beat of silence. “Can we talk?”
I swallowed hard and checked the mirror, hoping I didn’t look pale or teary eyed. Then I opened the door and pulled Bodhi into the bathroom with me, not wanting witnesses for this just in case. I didn’t mind some humiliation when it came with a healthy serving of orgasms, but this was a whole different situation. He stumbled at my unexpected force but managed to keep himself upright. I locked the door then whirled around to face him, practically holding my breath.
I didn’t know what to say, so I just stared, waiting to see what he wanted. I knew how to be ball-breaking, sometimes literally, Nic in just about any other scenario, but I couldn’t summon that courage and sass when I was worried that one of the men I loved was about to tell me this was too much, thatIwas too much for him to handle. How would I deal with that? What would I do when I had to see him snuggle up with Oli or be held by Sacha when I could no longer have that with him?
Bodhi’s hands shook as he deeply inhaled. “I know I haven’t had time alone with you since you got back. A lot has been going on. The police, your stalker, Maeve, Ansel… everyone else.” He waved a hand before letting out a rough laugh. “But I also needed time.”
“I get that, Bodhi,” I said softly, but he shook his head.
“You coming back was always something I knew would happen. One way or another, Iknewyou’d come back to us. But the… pregnancy,twins. That’s something I couldn’t wrap my mind around.”
“I know the feeling,” I told him, cautiously taking a step toward him. “Every day I was gone, I missed you. All of you. It was a lot for me to take in too, and I know that me leaving without a trace wasn’t easy. It felt like hell not being with all of you. I missedyou, Bodhi. I get needing time to process shit.”
“I hurt you,” he replied, a slight crack in his voice.
“I’ve hurt you too,” I retorted gently. The two of us stood closely enough now that I cupped his face. With only two inches on me, we were pretty much eye to eye when I got him to meet my stare. “I think we’ll hurt each other plenty as long as we’re together. We’re human, Bodhi. But I’ll take every cut if it means one more day with you. We’ll figure this out together. Given the hell we both went through, I know we’ll protect these babies from everything we can.”
A tear broke free, and I reached up to wipe it away as Bodhi crushed me to him. I automatically moved my arms so I could hug him back. This was one of the more emotional homecomings, especially since it lacked the simmering anger that had marked almost all the others. Bodhi, the others, they had managed to do what no one else had… They were well past my walls, having laid claim to the real me that was hidden behind every mask. They’d poisoned my heart, and I knew I’d crave them forever.
“I wish I had time to say I missed you properly,” I told him, grinning when that earned a real laugh. “But I do have a dad to torture and kill so I can find Thomas. If he saw my stalker, then we’ll finally have a name.”
“Sounds like the perfect foreplay to me.”
I pressed a soft kiss to his lips, humming happily when he responded in kind. “I always loved that about you, pet. You know how to give a girl all kinds of ideas.” Pulling back, I studied his face, and my smile grew. “So you and Sacha finally gave in, huh?”
Bodhi blushed, but he didn’t look the least bit embarrassed when he answered me. “Yes. How the hell did you… No, I should know better than to question you about sex stuff.”
“Are you happy?” I asked him seriously. Was he happy with me? With Sacha? Oli? With everything?Such a fucking loaded question, Nic.
“Yes,” he answered firmly, no hesitation at all, then he rested his forehead against mine. “Very happy.”
“Now to take care of a few loose ends, then we can go celebrate.” I ran my hands along his ass suggestively. “I’m glad I’m back.”
“Me too. And you stayed safe.”
My throat thickened, recalling him asking me to stay safe around the time we had first gotten together. Warren had taken me then. This time, I had left but come back in one piece.
Safe.