“No, I’m not,” he replied blandly, pulling me from my thoughts. “How far along are you?”
I shrugged. “No idea.”
“What?”
“What?” I asked, my brow furrowed at his sharp question.
“You have no idea how far along you are?” he asked, speaking slowly as if he were confused.
“I got my IUD out… That’s all I’ve had time for. I don’t want my stalker to find me and realize I’m pregnant,” I told him. I knew he would get it even if he didn’t like it. “I don’t know what they would do to me or the men if they found out, much less the baby.”
Ansel’s expression became grim as he stood up, looking around the living room. “Where are the others?”
“Asleep.” I replied. “I was supposed to talk with Allen today, but it got pushed back. I haven’t been sleeping, so I figured breakfast would help. What are you doing?”
“You need to see a doctor,” he said firmly, reaching down to grab my wrist and pull me up. I didn’t fight him, feeling almost grateful that someone was taking charge of this for me. His eyebrow arched when he got a good look at what I was wearing. “Is that my shirt?”
“Blake gave it to me,” I said, shifting my weight. He stared at the shirt then met my gaze again, but I had no idea how to read him right now. “I can change—”
“No,” he cut me off as he snagged my bagel from me. “I’ll call the doctor on the way.”
“Wait, we’re going right now?”
“Yes,” he replied, dragging me along after him.
“I think Em was going to call…” I stopped talking when he shot a glare over his shoulder. Before I had another chance to think, we were outside and headed to his car. “Nevermind.”
A few moments later, I was sitting in the backseat of his car while he drove through Boston, talking to someone on the phone in German. After a pointed look in the rearview mirror, I took another small bite of my bagel, hating it and hating even more that he was right. My stomach was settling with every bite I ate.
Ansel’s protectiveness was sweet, though I bet he would hate to hear that word. I should be annoyed at him for barging in, taking charge, and dragging me around to a doctor’s appointment without even pretending to ask me, but my guys would approve. If I was being honest with myself, I did too. Like he’d said, he’d been through this twice before with his late wife, so I trusted him to know at least a little bit about what I needed to do. I, on the other hand, had no idea what I was doing. None.
“He’s going to take us right back when we get there,” Ansel announced as soon as he hung up the phone. “Eat up. We will be there in a few minutes.”
* * *
Ansel
Two hours later,we were back in the car, and Nicholette was noticeably quiet. She hadn’t said anything for the past hour, giving only soft murmurs of acknowledgement and a few nods to what Dr. Fischer said before he took about six vials of blood for tests. He gave her medicine to help ease the morning sickness, saying it would need a day or so to take full effect. After that, she shouldn’t throw up as much and would be able to keep food down. Even that good news hadn’t garnered more than a soft thanks. Before we left, he’d directed a concerned look and a silent order to keep a close eye on her.
“Nicholette—” I started, but she shook her head. My eyes narrowed, and I quietly hummed before starting the car. “Buckle up.”
This time, she sat in the front passenger seat, and while I drove through Boston, I let the silence hang between us. She needed to process everything in her own time, and as she did that, I contemplated how much she had changed since I saw her last. It felt like it hadn’t been that long, but she had changed so much. Her blue-green eyes were as calculating and sharp as ever, but I could sense a hint of warmth underneath. I had known her for years, having first met her when she was barely eighteen, thanks to my brother. He liked them young and used prostitutes often, and I typically didn’t even give them a second glance… until Nicholette. Even then I could sense something different in her, and for the first time since my wife died, I felt something stir in me.
Then Frederick paid for a night with her and dropped her off to stay with me. I hated him for forcing her on me and her for rousing my interest. I didn’t touch her once that night, but when Frederick had gifted me with another night on the memorial of my wife’s death, I lost control. I sought to break her, grind her under my heel. Nicholette surrendered to it, reveling in the pitch-black well of my desires to the point that she pulled me in with her. Even while covered in bruises and shaking, she checked on me when we were finished. After that, I figured out how to get in touch with her, and somehow I found myself becoming friends with and occasionally fucking someone younger than my youngest child.By a year, but still.
“Penny for your thoughts with that expression?” Nicholette’s comment jolted me from my thoughts as I stopped at a red light.
“Just remembering when we met,” I responded honestly, looking over to find her studying me. Her face softened at that, and a small smile pulled at her lips before it faded.
“The night you didn’t touch me at all or the night we first had sex?”
I let out a gruff laugh. “Both.”
“Where are we going?” Nicholette asked after a beat of silence.
“You look like you need some time,” I told her briskly. “You won’t get any at the Family house.”
“And you won’t either,” she said dryly, and I could hear her amusement. She wasn’t wrong; I wasn’t quite ready to see Blake again after the revelations that had come to light in Seattle. Tension between us was the norm, but this was something else entirely. What I had learned about them, Atlas, Frederick… The guilt I felt for not being able to protect Blake from my brother weighed heavily on me. I’d let Blake down, and I knew I’d never forgive myself for it.