CHAPTER13
Sierra
Anger.
I’d obviously been in a mind-altering fog from the drugs, fear and uncertainty about what Alessandro had told me. Then I’d been embroiled in the kind of passion that only happens in fantasies and romance novels. Now I felt nothing but emptiness and anger.
The funny, very sad thing was that I wasn’t that furious with the rugged man who’d stripped me away from my life. This was Tristen’s fault. At least that was my current line of thinking. At this point, I knew better than to believe in anything.
I closed my eyes, hoping to rub the ache away, but there was no chance. I’d awakened half expecting to be shackled to the bed. Instead, I awoke to the sunlight streaming in and very much alone.
And I longed for Alessandro’s touch.
Sighing, I lifted my head, studying him as he paced the deck outside the back door. He’d been on the phone for an hour, but he’d checked on me twice, ensuring I hadn’t tried to escape. He’d been right. There were dense woods all around the cabin. I had no idea where we were, although I was firmly convinced that he hadn’t left North Carolina.
I’d never felt so alone in my life. I had no clothes, no phone, and no way of contacting anyone. He was my captor, a brutal man who’d managed to do the unthinkable, evoking a nightmare, or at least that’s the way I should be feeling. No, he’d created a strange fantasy where darkness and surrender became easy. I was exhilarated, still tingling all over from the three rounds of intense sex. I laughed as I pulled the bottle of water to my lips. What had the man managed to do to me?
I’d enjoyed every second of being fucked by the brutal man. I’d craved it. His touch, his kiss, the way he’d come close to manhandling my body. My body ached, but I felt glorious. That was ridiculous. Nuts. I’d lost it. Every ability to reason or think clearly had vanished.
I closed my eyes, laughing almost hysterically. Then I felt his presence only seconds later.
“Is there something amusing,gatita?”
Damn it. I hated when he called me that. I wanted to roar in his face or rub against his leg. I wasn’t entirely certain which one and it bothered the hell out of me. “Life. How about that?”
“I find nothing amusing about living.”
“No, you wouldn’t. You only see the worst in people.” I didn’t want to turn around for fear I’d fall into the trap again.
“I see what’s necessary, Sierra. Some of us aren’t born into a world where rose-colored glasses can be worn.”
His comment made me laugh again. “I feel sorry for you. You can never share joy. I bet you haven’t been to a movie theater your entire life. How about an amusement park? I’m certain your first Christmas gift as a child was a handgun, your daddy proud that you could shoot a can from two hundred yards away. I’m curious when you graduated to human beings. Do you remember your first kill?” When five seconds rolled by, then ten and he maintained silence, I finally turned around. There was such an arrogant expression on his face that I shook my head. “That was cruel and heartless, and I’m not that kind of person, so I’m sorry.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. You’re right, although I was ten when my father taught me how to shoot, complaining that I couldn’t hit a cow if it was standing two feet in front of me.”
I chortled and coughed, realizing he was serious. “That isn’t life, Alessandro. I wish I could show you what it really is.”
“Do you?”
There was no hesitation in my answer. Another surprise. “Yes.”
“Maybe you can one day.” He looked away then leaned against the doorway. “Have you made your decision?”
I raked both hands through my hair. “There is no decision to make, not really. If I say no, you’ll put me in chains, dumping me into the trunk of your car. Then I’ll be locked in a room inside your fancy condo. If I say yes, then I’ll earn the guilt I’ve felt for four years, accepting blood money for something I’m not certain of.”
“But it’s a choice that allows you more freedom.”
“Only after I’m freed from the chains you’ve already wrapped around me emotionally.”
He seemed surprised at my admittance.
Another moment of awkward silence settled in.
“Are you hungry?” he finally asked.
“Why and how do you believe I could eat anything? Why bother asking me?”
“Because I’m not a horrible man, Sierra.”