“No,” I groaned.
Why would I want to wake from such a wonderful dream?
Feeling as I did right then, I never wanted to wake again. But when the head of his cock breached my tight, wet hole, I woke with a start. I tried to twist back to look at him, but he held me still with a firm arm around me then he kissed the place just under my ear and said, “It’s okay. It’s me. I’m here, baby.” Another soft kiss. “Just let me take care of you.”
My body relaxed against him and my fingers curled into the sheets as he pressed into me, all the way, without pause.
It was a night of slow, indulgent sex. Conscious sex. This wasn’t two people using each other to get off. It was a building of something bigger. Admiration. Adoration. Call it what you will. But his being here was important. Together, we were rebuilding.
Ever the gentleman, he made sure I came before he released inside of me. I felt his heart beating fast against my back and I was sure, he felt mine when he pressed his lips to my pulse. Quiet and still, we stole from each other, sucking in one another’s warmth. We each needed it to feed our souls.
Our fingers entwined and I simply had to say it. “I want to come home.”
His delayed response wasn’t as harsh as it had been the time before, but his drowsy sounding, “Not yet,” still stung.
Okay. Not yet was a step up from no, albeit a small one.
I had to count my wins where I could. It was still progress and I had nothing but time.
Lucky for me, I had the patience of a saint.
* * *
Weeks had passedand Ettore’s visits had become more frequent. Every time he surprised me, I couldn’t wipe the stupid smile off of my face. That smile often transferred through our eager kisses. Yes, we always ended up naked, our bodies entwined, but it wasn’t all just sex. It was actually quite normal, in a sense, and far less hectic than it had been. He brought me flowers, and Italian sweets, and sometimes, he cooked for me. As our time together was limited, we always kept our conversations light in an attempt to veer away from the heaviness of our past. We opened a bottle of wine and sat on the floor, in the dark, bathed in moonlight. We talked about menial topics. Our likes and dislikes.
It was the first date we never got.
We held hands in silence. He held me close and my heart ached when placed his lips against my temple, just because.
As ridiculous as it sounds, it frightened me to see him like this, to be here with him like this. It was easier to call him a beast when I believed he wasn’t human. I had seen this man at his worst. But now, things were different. I had learned Ettore could be sweet when you weren’t threatening his life. He was affectionate in a way that surprised me. And, much like me, he was bound by duty.
Conflicted, I silently worked through my thoughts and feelings. And, as it were, I came to the shocking conclusion that despite everything we had done to hurt each other, we were all the other had. And I was dangerously close to falling in love with my husband.
After kissing for what seemed like hours, I pulled away to look directly into his hooded gaze when I said the words he knew was coming. “I want to come home.”
The long pause answered me long before he did.
He searched my face and when he reached out to me, I closed my eyes. He gently placed the stray lock of hair behind me ear and leant in. He pressed his warm, full lips to my cheek and let the kiss linger. And then, he said something that kickstarted my heart. “Soon.”
Oh my God.
Soon.
Soon.
That small word was a huge contrast to ‘No,’ and marginally better than ‘Not yet.’ And even thought I did my best not to show it, I could tell he sensed my elation. I knew it for certain when he laid back, flat on the carpet with his arms folded behind his head, looked up at the ceiling and said, “I want your mouth on me.” My stomach flip-flopped when his eyes darkened and he uttered the crude words out loud. “Suck my cock.”
Goddamn it.
I would never admit it out loud, but I loved it when he ordered me around like that.
Not sure what that said about me.
I did as he demanded. I took his semi-hard dick out of his pants, doubled over and sucked it into my mouth. I licked and jerked and spat and slurped. I worshipped him, and when he held my head down, my throat contracted around him, and his hiss and moan made me feel so goddamn adored.
He fucked my mouth then came with a shudder and grunt, and when he spurt across my tongue, I swallowed his salty offering eagerly.
I was desperate to please him.