My betrothed… The mere thought of that man sent shivers down my spine. He was older than me by a decade at least, and yet I was expected to become his happy little wife within a fortnight. I dreaded the coming moments when I’d have no choice but to look into Caldor’s eyes and tell him that I was no longer his to love.
Caldor was training to be a king’s guard, just like his father before him and his father’s father, and just like every king’s guard, they could not take a wife until they completed their training. My time was running out, and waiting another six years wasn’t an option. Caldor would find some young wife to take my place when the time came, and I’d be stuck with Waylan Bane.
His face flashed before my eyes and I flinched. Caldor pulled back, noting the change in me, and looked into my eyes with furrowed brows. Waylan Bane wasn’t an ugly man, nor was he cruel, but he had nothing on Caldor. Not the smooth tan skin, the dark golden hair or the depthless blue eyes that made me blush from head to toe.
“Mara, what’s wrong?” Caldor asked. His eyes roved my face, narrowing on the single tear that dripped down my cheek.
“Nothing, just kiss me,” I whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. I grabbed the sides of his face, anchoring him to me as our lips clashed.
My legs were wrapped around his waist as he held me against the wall of the old, broken temple. We shouldn’t have been in here, but it was the only place no one would come looking for us. My hips swiveled, seeking out the hardness of him. Caldor groaned into my mouth, his hips pressing me harder into the wall.
We were ravenous now, despite the tears that free fell from my eyes that he couldn’t see. Our kisses were salty with them, desperation clawing at my chest. I moaned as he thrust against me, wishing I could feel the warmth of his skin everywhere at once.
He kissed down my neck as he held me there, using his immense strength to hoist me up until my legs were now wrapping around his shoulders. I laughed as I gripped onto the altar overhead, keeping myself steady as Caldor fumbled with my dress. There were so many layers to it that it was almost comical watching him sift through them.
This was a mistake. I knew it was, but I couldn’t stop. If this was the last time I’d have him, then so be it. I’d make sure it was a moment I would remember down to my bones forever.
I groaned as his mouth found my core. The sound echoed off the crumbling stone walls as his tongue swirled around my wetness, flicking back and forth over a single spot that had stars bursting behind my closed lids. I ground my hips against his face as he devoured me. We’d only done this once before, but it’d been a quick, fumbling mess in a barn on the outskirts of Avedin, where we’d gotten ourselves covered in mud and hay.
This was different. Caldor seemed to know exactly how to lick me and suck and kiss. The scratch of his newly grown facial hair felt exquisite against my inner thighs. A heat was building in my belly, making my thighs shake. It felt like something was growing deep inside me, under my skin, and clawing to get out.
His hot tongue moved swiftly and sure as if he, too, knew that the guard could burst into this temple at any moment, and my reputation would be ruined forever. Waylan Bane would refuse to marry me, and I’d be sent to live in the slum of the Gallows instead of given rooms and a place in the castle. For a moment, the thought had me pausing, wondering if that fate might not be preferable.
I shook the thought away immediately. It wouldn't get me Caldor. If I was banished to the slums, I would be forced into a brothel to survive, or even thievery, which would likely result in me swinging from the gallows. Caldor would be a king’s guard, and he would marry a lady worthy of him someday.
It hurt my chest to think about him with another woman. Down to my very core, I ached with need. All I wanted in this world was to run away with him and live our lives outside of King Animus’s grasp, where we could be happy and free.
But who was I to ask for that luxury? What had I done in my short eighteen years that made me so worthy of happiness while others suffered? I had a part to play, just like all the rest, and I had a job to do. Waylan Bane wasn’t just any man. He was an important figure in the King’s court. I was just the orphan ward who happened to have wealth enough to grant me a position of note in Avedin, but I was still nothing more than a coin purse to the King.
My breathing was labored as Caldor’s full lips closed around that special spot that had my vision going dark and my thighs shaking. With one hand braced on the altar, I gripped his hair with the other, pulling his face into my core as I thrust into him. He groaned deeply as if he couldn’t get enough of my taste. The sound of his deep voice had me coming undone.
Pleasure rolled through me in waves. It was as if fire flowed through my veins, filling my belly and chest with lightning bugs. I had to slap a palm over my mouth to keep from screaming and alerting any guards who happened to be patrolling the area.
In a few short heartbeats, the euphoria began to dissipate. Caldor pulled back, lowering me from his shoulders as I held onto his thick arms for support until my feet were planted firmly back on the solid stone. In the moonlight that filtered through the crumbling hole overhead, I could see my own wetness coating his face.
His blue eyes were glossy with need, and I knew it was taking every ounce of his willpower not to give in and fuck me in this temple. At this moment, I might not have stopped him. I wanted this man with a fierceness that scared me.
His eyes roved my face again as our breathing slowly evened out, and that furrow between his brows appeared again when he noticed the fresh tears on my cheeks. I couldn't hold them in. This was the moment it ended. I couldn’t drag this out any longer; it wasn’t fair to either of us and even dragging it out this long was cruel and selfish of me.
“You’re scaring me,” he whispered, stepping forward and cradling my cheek in his palm. “Tell me what to do, Mara…” His thumb brushed a tear away as I nuzzled my face into his hand.
This was it. I couldn’t lie to him or hold it in any longer. By tomorrow night, the engagement would be announced, and he would know. It was better for him to hear it from my own lips. Removing my cheek from his palm, I stared into Caldor’s eyes. Eyes that I could gaze into forever without blinking and be content for eons. Eyes that held so much love for me that I didn’t deserve.
A change came over me then. Something cold crept under my skin like a crawling fog, swirling around my heart until it froze in my chest. I felt my tears dry up as I straightened my shoulders and clenched my jaw tight. Caldor instantly noted the difference in me and dropped my hands, his eyes flitting between mine in confusion.
I reached into the pocket of my dress and produced a small leather wrapping, holding it in my palm as he stared down at it. I noted the moment his shoulders stiffened, and when he took one step backward, a cold rush of air filled the empty space between us. He was shaking his head already as I slowly unwrapped the leather, revealing a small golden ring embedded with a single ruby.
I met his eyes one last time as the moonlight was shrouded with rain clouds. Thunder crashed in the distance, and rain began to pour lightly over the temple as if the gods themselves could feel our mutual despair and decided to make it worse.
“Who?” he gritted between his tightly clenched teeth. His eyes were filled with white-hot rage that had sickness swirling in my belly. But the ice around my heart was solidifying. When I didn’t answer, he stepped forward and asked again. “Who, Mara? Tell me and I’ll cut his eyes from his fucking skull tonight!”
I placed a hand on Caldor’s chest as his shoulders rose and fell rapidly, his nostrils flaring with rage. Keeping my expression cool, all the while I raged inside with him, I said, “It’s done, Caldor. There’s no point in making this harder than it needs to be. I met you here tonight because you needed to hear it from my lips, not the King’s.”
“You’re not marrying…” I pressed on his chest harder, keeping his at arm’s length.
“Yes. I am,” I snapped, cutting off whatever threats or promises he was going to make. “I’m marrying Waylan Bane before the solstice, and this,” I gestured between the two of us, watching in agony as the light in his eyes began to dim. Agony ripped at me as I allowed my heart to harden even more. I nearly choked as I spelled it out for him in a way that would make him hate me forever. “This was nothing more than a reckless mistake.”
Xmara