I stepped closer to her, unbothered by her lack of tact or the fact that she accused me of fucking the King. The thought of it made me want to retch. She was a spider under my shoe. One which I would gladly squish into the mud at the opportune moment.
When I was close enough to see the whites of her eyes and the silvery line of angry tears she tried to keep at bay, I grinned and whispered, “You will never amount half of what I’ve become, Lavinna. Why do you think he never left me for you?” I tilted my head, stepping closer as she flexed her jaw, clenching it hard enough to crack her own teeth. “Waylan simply occupied your open bed when I allowed it, nothing more, nothing less. We had an agreement, you see, and trust me, you weren’t his only distraction, not by far.”
My words might not be true, but she didn’t need to know that. I never claimed to be a saint, but this woman made my blood boil. I knew I should have been through with the rage of his infidelity by now. The sting of it was long gone, but looking into her narrow eyes, with her too short nose and stringy hair, all I felt was offended.
“Now get the fuck out of my sight!” I shouted in her face causing her to flinch and stumble several steps back, knocking into one of the other maids. This was my domain, my room, and she would never have any power over me.
Nothing she did, not even her engagement to one of the King’s advisors could make her my equal. To my satisfaction, she fled the room with the other maids on her heels.
* * *
Weeks passedand Remus was getting better at identifying poisons. He still made mistakes I, unfortunately, had to clean up before he accidentally killed himself, but they were becoming less frequent.
I came to realize over the time we spent in close quarters, that the shifter had an incessant need to fill every single moment with speech. It seemed like he couldn’t help himself but voice every errant thought that passed through his brain. At first, I was so annoyed that I was ready to beg the King to reconsider his choice. But as the days went by, I found myself listening to his stories with open ears and a hidden smile playing on my lips.
Remus’s life was even wilder than I ever imagined. He’d been a thief and a gambler before he was captured by the city guard and sentenced to hang for his crimes. Apparently he used to frequent the taverns in the wealthier areas of Avedin, betting on card games, which he strategically fixed. As a shifter, he had the ability to smell the changes in people’s emotions, scent the sweat beading on their brows, and hear the thumping of their hearts. It made him an excellent card player.
He’d been caught up once or twice, getting himself into brawls or having to lie low for a few weeks before he could show his face to the public again. When I asked him why he couldn’t just find himself a trade and make his money honestly, I should have known he’d throw it back in my face. Apparently, revealing the fact that I was the leader of one of the most notorious spy rings across the realm was coming back to bite me. How could I expect him to make an honest living while I killed people and sold secrets to make mine? I supposed he had a point.
Still, after weeks of working side by side, I had yet to confide in Remus about the murdered Raven. She’d been killed during the mission Remus and I were forced to finish for her, but that still meant that there was somebody out there who’d been expecting her to show up at that house that night. She hadn't been sent to kill him. Not that night. No, the young Raven was there for information, but somebody had been waiting.
It wasn’t that I didn’t trust Remus, because, if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t think he was the type to sell my secrets. I wanted to be sure there was actually something amiss before I had no choice but to take my investigation further. I’d questioned just about everyone I could think of over the last couple of weeks—shopkeepers, drunkards, beggars, whores, and even a few street rat children.
The Raven’s death was still whispered about on the streets, and I’d noticed how empty they’d been during the nights lately, but nobody seemed to have any information on who killed her. All we knew was that her body had been dumped in the market square deep in the Gallows for anyone to find in the light of the early morning. She had a note pinned to her chest that had been delivered straight to me.
I hadn’t known the girl well. She’d been sixteen years old—an orphan from Nexus, the kingdom beyond the river, taken by slave traders and passed through household after household until my Ravens took her in and made her one of our spies.
That’s who we all were—orphans, criminals, outcasts, and Source users. We ran the underground of Avedin, trading in secrets and information, and taking care of the dirty work the King didn’t like to muddy his own palms with. Of course, the King didn’t know that I was their current leader, having been under the impression that Waylan had seen to the death of the last one, but I wasn’t going to correct him. If I could operate from the shadows without anything falling back on me, that was preferable to the King watching my every move.
Tonight was Remus’s final test. If he could pass it and keep me alive with his antidote, then the real work could finally begin, and perhaps I’d let him in on more information. I knew he was itching for me to spill my secrets, but to my surprise, he never pushed me.
I had a few spare hours to kill, so I decided it was time to pay a visit to my oldest friend, Saeya.Friendwas a loose term, I supposed but it was the best I had to offer. She was Caldor’s twin sister, and we’d been close for years. It was one of the reasons the handsome yet stone-faced guard had such a stick up his arse. Aside from our sordid history that is.
He claimed I wasn’t good company for an unmarried woman to keep, always involving myself infoul, uncouth behavioraccording to him. I knew the real reason he disapproved, but he’d never admit that, least of all to me.
At the time, I thought his assumptions were hilarious, back when my trust in Waylan still blinded me, but now I realized how… right, Caldor was about me. I’d never tell him that.
Despite her brother’s dislike of me, Saeya had been good to me over the years, treating me like I was a normal woman for once in my life. She was a breath of fresh air amidst the haze of my darkness and secrets.
I envied her in a way sometimes. Her opinions were strong, and she’d managed to convince her father and Caldor to allow her to marry for love rather than convenience. Their father was on the war council, and I hated him almost as much as I hated my late husband. Just another cheating male as Saeya’s mother was still alive and well, though I’d seen him around the city late at night with all manner of females.
I dressed in a simple black day gown of mourning, still keeping up the pretense of grieving for Waylan. My hair was loose, my dark curls spilling down my back freely as the cool air blew them around. I walked the outer edge of the castle’s upper levels, already knowing where I’d find my friend.
“Hello, stranger,” Saeya announced as she wrapped her arms around me. I hugged her back but released her just as quickly. “Tell me all about your new soon-to-be husband! Is he handsome? Dangerous? Charming?”
She grinned at me with stars in her eyes. I shook my head at her naivety. But she knew how much I hated Waylan, so I supposed I couldn’t blame her for wanting me to move on.
Saeya stood on the landing just above the training ground courtyard, watching from above as the guard ran through their daily drills. I could see the longing in her eyes despite the smiles and inane questions she had for me.
For as long as I could remember, she’d made no secret of her wish to join the guard alongside her twin, but her father wouldn’t hear of it, and neither would the King, for that matter. A female with a sword in her hand? It was laughable. And laugh, they had. To her face, over and over again, so eventually, she stopped asking.
“Has Caldor been running his mouth then?” I asked, folding my forearms over the railing, watching as her brother called out orders to his soldiers.
At that moment, the guard captain looked up, his eyes clashing with mine. They narrowed at the fact that I was up here with Saeya, so I just grinned back at him.
When he turned away, I found my gaze lingering on him. Caldor was almost too handsome for his own good, but I sincerely didn’t think he was aware of it. His eyes were a dark, misty blue, shrouded by thick expressive brows that were always furrowed in brooding thought. His skin was tanned, and his short hair a golden brown that caught the sunlight just right.
It was hard to see the hatred in his eyes, especially now that Waylan was dead. I supposed it was foolish of me to think he’d run back to my arms the moment my husband’s ashes flew off into the breeze. I’d hurt Caldor irreparably, and I deserved every ounce of his loathing.