It got this dark in my cell in the facility, but that darkness was tight, controlled, suffocating. Standing here, I can feel the entire world stretching out around me with no walls holding me back.
There’s only one path I want to take, but there’s still a relief in the freedom. I close my eyes, absorbing the quiet and the openness and letting it carry all my thoughts away so I’m nothing but an empty vessel.
The scuff of footsteps breaks my reverie. I turn to see Riva emerging from the shed in the hint of a dawn glow that’s just starting to touch the landscape.
As I watch, she nods to Zian with a quick smile. “Thanks for keeping watch,” she murmurs, as if she doesn’t know he was guardingagainsther as much as for her. “Are you going to be able to get some more sleep too?”
I don’t like how his posture turns a bit awkward as if he’s concerned about how she’ll feel about his answer. She shouldn’t matter to any of the others any more than she does to me.
She cut herself off from us the second she decided getting a few privileges was worth more than Griffin’s life. But apparently the others are soft enough to be willing to forgive the past.
They never did see things as clearly as I did—and it wasn’ttheirbrother she sentenced to death.
I step closer before Zian has to answer and motion him toward the shed. “You should rest a little more. I can keep an eye on things.”
On her.
A frown crosses Zian’s face, maybe as he tries to calculate how much restI’vegotten, but he’s never been the type to enter a debate voluntarily. He pushes himself off the shed wall and ducks inside.
Riva stalks toward me.
She stops a few feet away from me with a hesitant expression that irritates me even more. If she doesn’t like how she knows I’m going to respond to her, maybe she should leave me the hell alone.
I fold my arms over my chest and keep my voice low so I don’t disturb my sleeping friends. “Do you need something?”
Her shoulders come up for a second at my purposefully cold tone, but she appears to force them to relax a moment later. The movement of her body makes me annoyingly aware of the wiry grace with which she holds herself—and the rise and fall of her breasts behind the fabric of her hoodie.
Her presence stirs up all kinds of sensations in me, but most of them I choose to ignore. They don’t matter either.
Her voice comes out soft but steady. “I just wanted to say that I understand why you’re upset with me. I was right there, and I didn’t— You have no idea how much I’ve beat myself up for not realizing something was wrong sooner—” She shakes her head. “I still think about Griffin every day.”
My spine stiffens at her last comment, a sharper anger flaring inside me. “Keep his name out of your mouth. You don’t deserve to even talk about him.”
Riva’s head droops for a second before she catches my gaze again. “I’m sorry. I hate what happened, and I know it must have been harder for you than anyone. I thought I should say that. Before, I was so focused on getting us away and keeping us all alive—I didn’t show how much I cared.”
And I’m supposed to believe she does now? This is obviously all part of the sob story she keeps trotting out to try to wear down our defenses and steal our trust.
But I never would have believed the girl I knew four years ago, the girl I—
I never would have believed that girl could have turned on us as viciously as we all know she did. I’d hurl a derisive laugh in her face if I wasn’t still trying to stay quiet.
“Sure,” I say instead. “You care so very much—about making sureyoustay alive to get whatever the hell it is you’re after now.”
Riva’s face twitches with a flash of emotion. It isn’t right that she still looks as pretty as she always did—more so, even, with the last hints of childhood faded from her features, all striking, powerful woman now.
But not as powerful as she used to be. I’ve clipped her wings so she can’t pull another sudden flight.
She wets her lips, and I don’t let myself track the movement of her tongue, focusing on the burn of anger in my chest. Her voice comes out even quieter than before.
“Is thereanythingI can say or do that would make it easier for you to believe me?”
She’s even worked a hint of desperation into her voice. I start to glower at her, and a flicker of inspiration shoots up inside me.
The other guys wouldn’t let me destroy her, and maybe they were right, but I still intend to pay back all the pain she dealt out. And if she’s going to offer herself up so willingly in her charade of innocence, why shouldn’t I take her up on it?
There is a chance that I’m protecting all of us at the same time.
“Come here,” I say with a jerk of my hand toward the trees.