Page 29 of Hidden Scars

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‘Yeah I asked him the golden question: Liza or Cher?’

‘Sorry?’

‘Gay icons, Inspector. You really should know these things. Anyway he answered “Cher” and I knew he was a keeper. I invited him inside, we danced, laughed, drank, hooked up our social-media accounts and we’ve been friends ever since.’

‘And that was when?’

‘Almost two years ago.’

‘And Jamie never had a relationship in that time?’ Kim asked.

River sighed dramatically. ‘Let me light a smoke. If I’d known you were going to probe me this deeply, I’d have insisted on dinner first.’

Kim fought back the smile on her lips as he took a pack of smokes from his pocket.

She could see the look of longing on her colleague’s face. Despite there being a good few years between him and his last smoke, the temptation was always there.

‘It was complicated for Jamie. There was conflict in his acceptance of his sexuality.’

‘His social media says otherwise,’ Kim said, confused.

‘Ah, Inspector, there’s a difference between being gay and doing gay.’

‘Not getting it,’ she said.

‘Okay, take me for example. I came out to my mom when I was thirteen. It took me weeks to build up the courage. I blurted it out, and her response was “tell me something I don’t know, now put the kettle on”. It was the most important cup of tea I’ve ever had.’

‘Go on,’ Kim urged.

‘Over that cuppa my mum explained that life would be harder, that I would face bigots, homophobes, ignorance and stupidity. She told me that I had to rise above it and be true to myself and never to conform because of other people’s opinions.’

Kim liked the sound of River’s mum almost as much as she was warming to the lad himself.

‘And Jamie’s coming-out story?’

He rolled his eyes. ‘Don’t even. He tried to tell them in his early teens. They shut him down, told him he wasn’t, called the whole thing a disgusting abomination, a crime against God and sent him off to all kinds of summer sporting camps where he got the shit kicked out of him numerous times.’

Kim tried not to let the anger show on her face.

‘It’s one thing admitting you find other men attractive and becoming part of that community. It’s another thing acting on it.’ Again, he swallowed back the tears. ‘I like to think he was making progress before some fucking homophobe got their hands on him.’

‘And that’s what you think this is?’

‘Don’t you?’ he asked, surprised.

Kim couldn’t allow herself to think that there was nothing more to Jamie than his sexuality.

‘Was Jamie having issues with anyone that you know of?’

River shook his head. ‘He wasn’t like that. Jamie didn’t do conflict. We were on the train to Brum once and we got a bit of shit, couple of wankers calling us names. Jamie wanted to move along to the next carriage but I wouldn’t go. I told the taller one that much as I loved to suck a dick, I couldn’t get the whole of him in my mouth.’

Kim couldn’t prevent the chuckle that escaped from her mouth. She liked people that were unapologetic.

‘Jamie pulled me off the train before the lanky twat could catch me, but the whole thing completely ruined his night. One vodka and Coke and it was a distant memory for me.’

‘Any new people hanging around your circle?’

River guffawed.


Tags: Angela Marsons Suspense