‘It was a long time ago, Inspector, and has nothing to do with what we’re discussing now.’
‘I think it shows great strength of character that you were able to process the horror and make a good life for yourself. You were how old when you found her?’ Kim didn’t add that the woman had been found with her skull caved in from multiple blows with a suspected hammer.
‘Sixteen,’ Celia answered, giving nothing away.
‘You must have been terrified.’
‘Of course.’
‘I understand that robbery was the motive. Your mum’s purse was missing from her handbag?’
Celia nodded.
‘And they never caught the man responsible, did they?’
‘No.’
‘That must have been painful. Not even being able to see justice done to the person who had murdered your mum?’
‘Very, but I’ve had to learn to live with it.’
Kim wondered what it would take to elicit some real emotion from this woman. They were talking about what was arguably the worst time of her life and she wouldn’t let the emotion out.
‘No father?’ Kim asked.
‘Not that I knew.’
‘So you went to live with…?’
‘My aunt Elise. A good strong woman.’
Kim was unsure why Celia had chosen to qualify that.
‘Was she the one who sent you here?’ Kim asked.
Celia nodded. ‘And I thank God she did,’ she said, allowing her face to soften. ‘She changed my life for the better and set me on the right road.’
Celia seemed more open to talking about that aspect of her life.
‘Had you experimented?’
‘God, no,’ Celia said, placing distaste on her face just a split second later than Kim would have expected.
‘You told her you had feelings for other girls?’
‘My mum had already told her. I didn’t know that, but my aunt helped guide me in the right direction.’
Kim was confused. ‘But if you’d never had any involvement with another girl, how did you know so certainly that you wanted to change?’
‘I knew enough. I knew that these relationships are often born in secrecy. They develop in the dark, away from disapproving eyes. That very intimacy and furtiveness gives the whole thing oxygen, life. It breeds a bond that’s all-inclusive, that is all-consuming but excludes everyone else. It is dark and hidden and intense. It is destructive and cannot survive the light of day.’
Kim was speechless.
Celia continued. ‘My aunt saved me before I made a huge mistake, before I acted on any twisted impulses. I was given the opportunity to change, make my own choices on who I wanted to be and the life I wanted to live. My life is out in the open, beyond scrutiny, not subjected to prejudice, disgust, insults. I live a normal, wholesome life with a wonderful husband and two beautiful children. Now is there anything else you’d like to know?’
Kim shook her head, having learned more than she thought she would. For a woman who had never entered into a same-sex relationship, she sure knew a lot about how they worked.
SIXTY-SEVEN