That was the question I kept asking myself.
I’d spent my entire Friday being gossiped about at school, and Penny had tried to corner me again on my way to the parking lot. Luckily, Ryder had spotted her coming a mile away and materialized by my side to get rid of her before she could create too much of a scene.
It was now early evening, and I was sitting in Riley’s Corvette at the track with her, watching everyone wind down after a long week, and I tensed when Riley’s low voice hit me after we’d been silent for so long.
“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind, or do I have to guess?”
I didn’t glance at her, my finger tapping on my thigh nervously.
“What do you mean? There’s nothing on my mind.”
She snorted, and I could sense her gaze on me. “You’re the world's worst liar. Just tell me.”
I peered over at her, letting out a soft sigh. “I’m still trying to figure out my feelings. You make me happy, and you make me feel good, but I don’t know if it’s because the lines in our friendship are getting confused. I don’t know how to handle everyone watching us like we’re some kind of entertainment either.”
Her face stayed blank, but panic flashed across her eyes for a second. “Have I been too pushy? If I’m making you uncomfortable…”
“No, I like what we’re doing,” I assured her, reaching out to take her hand. “I’m just unsure if it’s a temporary Band-aid from me being hurt. I don’t want to waste your time.”
“Come here,” she murmured, tugging my hand to encourage me towards her, and I climbed over the gear shift to straddle her lap, my dress keeping me covered. There wasn’t a lot of space, but we made it work. “You’re not wasting my time. I want this so badly that it hurts, but I really can’t force you to feel something for me.”
“But…”
“Be open with me about your feelings. I just don’t want to be left in the dark,” she said softly, her hands sliding around my middle. “I love you, and part of me wants to be selfish and make you love me too, but I also know it doesn’t work like that.”
I rested my forehead on hers, closing my eyes to savor her hold on me. “What if I’m not enough for you?”
“You’ll always be exactly what I want,” she promised, running a hand through my hair to hold the back of my head. She pulled my mouth to hers, kissing me lazily, just how I liked it, and she seemed to relax as I placed a hand on her cheek to hold her in place.
I kissed her harder, a groan leaving her. “Baby…”
“Fuck me,” I murmured against her lips before I could change my mind, gasping as she instantly tugged my panties to the side without argument. She dipped her fingers into my pussy, pulling them out once they were wet with my juices so she could rub my clit.
“I think I’m addicted to making you curse.” She chuckled, her lips finding my neck as she nibbled at my skin. “It’s fucking hot when you beg me.”
She slid her fingers lower, teasing my pussy and making me let out a huff of frustration. “Don’t tease me.”
“You’re being loud. Do you want people to come and investigate?” I tensed, suddenly remembering we were parked in the middle of the field, surrounded by other cars and people. She licked my neck, her breath cooling the damp skin. “You’re covered. I’ll keep your tits away, I promise.”
“Don’t let anyone see me,” I whispered, and she leaned back to meet my gaze, her eyes serious.
“No one gets to see you like this. You’re mine. It’s dark and the windows are tinted. You’re safe.”
I nodded, trying to relax as she pushed her fingers inside me deeply this time, her thumb brushing my clit lightly and making my thighs clench. She always knew how to turn me into a puddle.
We’d only slept together a handful of times, but it was definitely the best sex I’d ever had. She could be rough, gentle, fast, or slow, and each time I’ve come so easily. I couldn’t tell if I’d hit the jackpot, or if sex was supposed to be like this all the time.
My nails bit into her shoulders as I tried hard to contain my scream when I came, but I was failing badly. People definitely would’ve heard us if they were near the car.
Sweat was forming on the back of my neck as she fucked me through it, and I wasn’t surprised when she grabbed my throat firmly to pull my mouth to hers again, swallowing the sounds I was making.
Her fingers slowed when I begged her to stop, and I sagged against her as I tried to recover.
“I fucked myself last night while imagining your mouth on my cunt,” she said breathlessly, a shudder rolling through me as she pulled her fingers from me and lifted them to my lips. “Open.” I sucked them into my mouth, licking them clean as she watched me with heated eyes. “You’re so good for me.”
I dipped my fingers below the elastic of her pants, letting out a huff as she stopped me.
“I want to touch you too.”