“Man,” Kace sighed, “I get it, because I think of all the things I’ll miss all summer while I’m playing ball. I’ll be off in Milwaukee and you two will be laying on a beach somewhere in Aruba.”
“She won’t vacation without you.”
“She won't have Christmas without you,” he responded back adamantly.
“Fuck,” I laughed and shoved off the counter. “I sound like a pussy.”
“You are,” Kace laughed with me. “We both are. Ali has turned us into two fucking pussies… I fucking love it.”
When the laughter died down, we caught each other’s eye. We faced one another for a beat, straight faced and serious. It was intimate in a way, with the lights dim and the sounds of our heavy breathing being the only noise.
I had never been sexually attracted to Kace, or any man for that matter. But the intimacy he and I shared with Ali had caused us to care for one another on a deeper level than we ever had before.
We didn’t talk about it, but we knew it was there.
Maybe not the same love we had for Ali, but something more than just friends. It was undefinable, and made me feel both weak and strong at the same time.
“Back to bed?” Kace’s husky voice broke the silence.
I nodded and turned around to head back toward the stairs, feeling Kace behind me the whole time. When we got to the top and I started to open the bedroom door, Kace stopped me and turned me around to face him again.
There was no light and I could barely see him, but I felt his arms come around me and pull me into a hug. “Remember when you told me to tell them whatever I wanted?”
“Yeah.” I could barely get the word out because the reminder of the time Kace was the one facing the media was still too fresh. It hurt, remembering Ali being gone and the world wanting to know more and more about us. I told him to say whatever he wanted, that I would have his back.
“It’s your turn,” he said so low I barely heard him. “Say whatever you need to, you know I will have your back.”
“Thanks, brother.” I squeezed him in a bear hug, letting him know I understood.
He didn’t want me coming home worried about what I said, he wanted me to say whatever I needed to say to survive. Media storms were relentless, and I couldn’t just hide away. The second I was back with my team, nearly two months ago, it had been nonstop for me. And if we won on Christmas Day, we would clinch a spot in the playoffs, and that meant it would go on even longer.
A part of me wanted to throw the game and make it all end for a while, but I knew I would never do that. I wouldn't do that to my team or my coach. I wouldn't even do that to myself.
“Christmas Day,” I whispered as we broke our hug. “It will be better after Christmas Day.”
By then, I wouldn't be so pissed about not being home. I would be past the family Christmas party that I am missing and past the pressure to make the playoffs. Not to mention, the moments I spent at home were like a recharging process. I would soak them in and be ready for another day.
Our house was decorated with silver and gold. We had stockings hanging over the fireplace and a tree with bright white lights. Presents scattered the blanket that was wrapped around the base of the tree and the smell of fresh cookies were in the air.
I was dressed in slacks and a button up shirt that I kept open at the collar. I stood with a glass of whiskey dangling from my hand as I looked at everything in the living room. It was daylight out, so the ambiance was subdued, but my thoughts were drifting to the night before when Kace and I took turns making love to Ali while the fire burned and the lights twinkled.
All week, I had been practicing, but with a home game on Sunday, we got Friday off. As soon as Ali was ready, we were going to head to her dad’s house to have our first family Christmas gathering. Some part of me was glad it was with Ali’s dad, because he had been more than welcoming of Kace and I into Ali’s life.
All he cared about was that Ali was loved, and he knew we both loved her. I knew his home would be a safe place for us to be ourselves and I was looking forward to doing something outside of our bubble we had created in our home.
“Ali said the two green ones are for her dad and Mary,” Kace mumbled as he passed by me and headed to the kitchen.
I squatted down and retrieved the green presents from the tree and placed them next to the box of cookies Ali had made. Kace quickly returned from the kitchen holding clear tape and scissors as he once again passed by me.
He quickly made his way up the stairs and yelled, “Pour me one,” as he got to the top. I did as he asked and within minutes, I heard his footsteps coming down the stairs again.
“You okay?” I laughed.
Grabbing the scotch I poured for him, he took a sip and smirked. “Just doing my lady’s bidding.”
“What is she doing up there?”
He shrugged. “She’s not letting me in on all her secrets.”