“During the party, a cop came to the door … and he turned out to be a stripper.”
“They hired a stripper for your party?” I hate the flare of jealousy that hits me.
“They not only hired a stripper, they snuck out and left me alone with him.” Her voice is incredulous and angry, and I’m right there with her.
I don’t even try to keep the anger out of my voice. “Why would they leave you alone with a stripper?”
Her eyes, which had been flashing a moment ago, drop to the table. She takes a chip and dips it in the salsa, but doesn’t take a bite.
“Why did they do that, Autumn?”
She sets the chip on her plate and takes a drink before finally lowering her voice to say, “They thought it would be funny. They think it’s hilarious that I’m a virgin, and they hired the stripper torelieve meof my virginity.”
If this were a comic book, I’d be blown back against the wall behind me — that’s how surprised I am by what she’s just said.
Autumn is still a virgin?
This beautiful, intelligent, talented, kind woman has never had sex with a man?
“You probably think I’m pathetic,” she says, and I instantly feel bad that she’s misreading my shocked silence.
“Why in the hell would they do that?” I ask, and her eyes go wide because I don’t often swear. My brain is struggling between surprise at her lack of experience, and anger at her housemates for putting her in such a dangerous situation. “And no, of course I don’t think you’re pathetic,” I rush to add. “That’s the last thing I’d think.”
“I don’t even care that I’ve never had sex,” she says, “but Kelly and Lindsey seem to think it’s a big problem that needs to be solved. Or a big joke.”
I have to look down at the chip basket now, because I’m afraid my thoughts are written on my face. I’ve been fighting my lust for Autumn on a daily basis, but knowing she’s never had sex makes me even hotter for her than I already was. Not that I place any particular value on virginity, but if she’s never been with anyone else, she suddenly somehow seems less unattainable.
“At least Kelly had the grace to leave an apology note for me this morning, but Lindsey was still laughing about it, especially when she found out I didn’t have sex with him. How could she even think I’d do that?”
It hadn’t occurred to me that Autumn might have slept with the stripper, but I’m relieved to have confirmation that she didn’t.
“He turned out to be a really nice guy, though …” Her voice trails off, and there’s a faraway look in her eyes that I don’t like.
“No one should try to rush you to have sex before you’re ready,” I tell her. “There’s nothing wrong with waiting.”
My words, and the arrival of the waitress, bring Autumn back to the present. After our food is delivered and the server leaves, she says, “Since I just told you something very personal, I’m curious. How old were you when you first had sex?”
It’s not a question I ever imagined her asking, and even though it’s something I think about all the time, I have no idea how to answer her. Usually our lunches are fun and light hearted. We complain about coworkers and talk about movies and shows we watched recently, but today’s lunch is turning into a nightmare.
2
Autumn
When Garrett hesitates at my question, my first thought is that he had sex really young, like Trevor. Why else would he not have an easy answer to a simple question?
But as I study his face, the truth hits me all at once, and I’m stunned. “It’s okay. You don’t have to answer,” I say. “I don’t know why I asked.”
He straightens in his seat and shifts his jaw before letting out a breath. “No, it’s okay. You shared something personal, so I’ll share too. I haven’t had sex yet either. Not intercourse, anyway.”
Garrett fits the nerd profile of many of the IT guys I went to school with, and it’s true that I never hear him talk about going on dates or having a girlfriend, but his news surprises me for many reasons.
First of all, he’s very attractive. His strong jaw puts me in the mind of Superman. He’s tall, with a thick head of brown hair that he styles nicely, and he always smells good, crisp and clean, like he’s fresh from the shower. I’ve always thought his glasses made him cute, too.
In addition, he has a great personality. I love working with him, and we have great conversations. I’ve imagined him being a great boyfriend to someone, so it’s hard to wrap my mind around the fact that he’s as inexperienced as I am.
Or nearly so. He did clarify that he hasn’t had intercourse, so I’m guessing that means he’s done other stuff, and now my brain is conjuring images of him doing that other stuff, and I’m getting a little squirmy on this bench just thinking about it.
“Guys are supposed to be experienced, and it’s just another expectation that society puts on people. Everyone should go at their own pace,” he says.