I still think about what could have been on a near-daily basis, but things between Garrett and I have gone almost back to normal, minus the friendly lunches where we used to share the details of our lives with each other.
“Hey.” As I go past him to reach the refrigerator, I notice a checkerboard pattern on the screen of his phone, which is propped up on the table next to him. “Are you playing chess?”
“Yeah, I’m actually playing with Trevor. Adrian’s been playing too. It’s been a nice way to stay in touch.”
“Oh.” Somehow, I hadn’t expected the men to stay in contact. “How are they doing?”
He puts his sandwich down. “Good. Sounds like training is pretty intense, but they love it.”
“That’s good,” I say.
“Seems like Duke misses them,” Garrett adds when I start to turn toward the door.
“You’ve been in touch with him too?”
He grins and nods. “I know. We’re an unlikely pair, aren’t we? I actually went fishing with all three of the guys right before Trevor and Adrian left, and then last weekend, Duke invited me to go again.”
I know what he means about them being an odd pair, but in my imagination and in my memories, they’re almost always together, along with Trevor and Adrian. All four of them go together perfectly in my mind. Knowing that they were all together in real life after the nights we spent together definitely makes me feel some type of way.
There must be something showing on my face, because Garrett’s tone turns serious, and he asks, “Do you miss them?”
With so many emotions running through me, I verbalize my thoughts without thinking better of it. “I miss all of us being together,” I admit. “Maybe that’s why I was a virgin for so long, because my heart knew that it was going to get way too involved.”
Garrett’s brows lift. “I didn’t realize you felt that way.”
I shrug and shake my head, forcing a little laugh to lighten the mood, even though there’s nothing funny except for my pitiful feelings.
Before either of us can say anything else, our new associate comes into the room with a question for Garrett, and I take the opportunity to leave.
42
Duke
On my nights off from Club Red, I usually prefer to stay home and enjoy the peace and quiet, especially on my back deck. Lately, however, I’ve become a semi-regular customer at Rusty’s. It doesn’t make much sense to spend my time off at a bar, when I already work at a club, but after just one, ahem, performance, I’ve become a big fan of Autumn’s, and I want to see her perform again.
I’m talking about her singing, but I want her back in my bed, too.
Finally, the stars align one night, and the voice of an angel greets me when I walk through Rusty’s front door. Autumn looks more beautiful than ever. Her eyes are closed as she loses herself to the music, her long hair flows over her shoulders like a waterfall, and her red shirt dips low enough to set my mind wandering.
I never expected to be here looking for her. When she moved out, I figured I’d get over it, but the hole she left has only grown bigger.
I find a table near the back where I can watch her without it being likely that she’ll notice me. I can change my mind and leave any time, but the two scotch and sodas I drink while she plays convince me that I’d be an idiot not to talk to her.
Something’s missing in my life, and sure, things are a little too quiet without Trevor and Adrian around, but I was feeling this way before they left. I’ve been feeling this way ever sincesheleft.
The patrons in the bar give her a good healthy round of applause after the last number in her second set. The way her face glows with pride is a sight to see, but the smile on her lips doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
I approach as she’s taking down her mic stand. Her back is to me when I say, “I like your new songs.”
“Thanks.” I can tell she’s not expecting me when she turns with a smile. Her face falls into seriousness when she sees it’s me. “Duke.”
“How are you?” I ask.
“I didn’t know you were here.”
“I missed the beginning, but I was here for most of your performance. Quite a crowd.”
“Yeah, it’s a nice turnout.” She’s paused, equipment in hand.