I run my hand through his hair, comforting him. “I hate that you felt that way,” I say.
“Thanks. I even got her handcuffs as a gift, thinking it could help.” He gives a humorless laugh.
I linger on what he just told me about handcuffs, then on his text messages earlier about how it was an ultimate fantasy for him. I get it now. Last nightwasa big deal for him.
“And just so you know, I bought the ones from last night just for you,” he says, and the self-mocking tone has vanished. There’s a fierceness in its place. “I’d never use secondhand cuffs on you.”
I smile softly, then he continues.
“Anyway, when we split up, Brittany’s sister came to get her things, and she shoved the cuffs at me like they were diseased. Like I was a freak.”
My heart squeezes. “Sex is so much more than bodies tangled together. It’s about our hearts, and our minds too.”
His sigh sounds relieved. “Yeah. It is, Ellie.”
“It’s about desire and freedom and need,” I say, unable to let it go.
“Yes.” He nods in strenuous agreement. “You’re saying exactly what I’m feeling. But see, when I met you again, I thought if you knew how I liked to fuck, you’d rip me to shreds.”
I rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry she made you feel that way. I like everything about the way you touch me. Actually, Ilovethe way you touch me.”
He wraps an arm around my shoulders. “I love touching you. I’m glad you told me how you like it. You’re a fucking dream, Ellie,” he says, that rough and smoky tone returning to his voice.
I pull away so I can meet his eyes. “I’m glad I told you too. And thank you for being honest with me.”
And finally,I know.
I know what thebe vulnerablechallenge means to me.
Being real doesn’t mean I have to sayI like you.
It’s obvious we like each other. There’s something deeper at play with Gabe. Something that matters more.
“Gabe, these last three nights have been incredible,” I begin.
“They have,” he says, tightening his grip on my hand.
“And I’ve had some trust issues with guys. A lot of trust issues, to be honest. I’ve picked poorly before, like I told you. But it’s different with you.”
A small smile forms on his lips. “Yeah?”
I nod. “I trust you so much,” I say, and finally, this feels right.
Thisadmission is scary.
But it’s true, and it’s something I want him to know. “I feel safe with you, Gabe. At first, I didn’t know the reason—I just felt it.Safety.”
“Good. I want you to.”
“But now I know why,” I say, giddy with understanding.
“Tell me.”
“Because of how you treat me out of bed. You treat me like a queen,” I say, holding his gaze. “And that’s why I feel safe with you. I’ve always been fascinated with my own limits,” I say, and I’m not scared anymore. It’s a thrill to tell him my truth. It’s freeing to share my desires with a man who wants me to feel safe all the time, in and out of bed. “And there’s one more thing I’ve been wanting to try,” I say.
“Anything. Tell me anything,” he says, desperate.
I take a beat, run a hand down his arm. “I’ll tell you…in confession.”