Not that her daydreams would ever have come to anything, even if Kimika had been brave enough to act on them. She simply wasn’t the type of person to elicit that kind of devotion in a man. Hadn’t Haruto told her that over and over again? Told her how lucky she was that he took any kind of interest in her, because nobody else ever would.
Kimi sighed, momentarily dejected. He was right. Nobody here on Elysium had shown the slightest bit of interest in her. Not that she’d really been looking for anything, of course, but it would have been a welcome boost to her fragile ego to feel desired. There were plenty of men who flirted, but that was just in fun. None of it was serious, and Kimi knew better than to ever imagine it was anything more.
And now Mitch, Jed and Sawyer were in a committed poly relationship, and their woman, Beth, was as different from Kimi as it was possible to get.
The resort accountant was beautiful, confident and had curves that went on for days. Kimi knew men liked that.
Her polar opposite.
The only thing they had in common was their long dark hair, and even Beth’s hair had more life in it than Kimi’s.
But none of that mattered right now. The only thing that did was the sinuous beauty of the scene unfolding in front of her. Kimika was totally enthralled. It seemed impossible that so many people, in such close proximity, could work so seamlessly together.
It was like a beautifully choreographed dance.
They were all so comfortable with each other, comfortable with their surroundings and the people watching.
And the respect and adoration they all showed for each other… Kimika couldn’t imagine one man looking at her the way these men looked at Beth - like the sun rose and set with her - never mind three.
Her heart squeezed in her chest. It wasn’t envy exactly; Kimika wished nothing but the best for these wonderful people. It was more like… hope.
Hope that, one day, someone might see past her innate shyness and the way she flustered when a man paid her the slightest bit of attention. Haruto had told her time and again how unattractive that was, but Kimika just couldn’t help it. As soon as a handsome man tried to engage her in conversation, she became tongue-tied and befuddled.
That was how she’d first gotten involved with her ex. He had seemed to see beyond her natural reserve and timidity and Kimi had been flattered by his interest.
Sure, she’d become concerned about the way he spoke to her on occasion, but she’d forgiven a lot of things out of gratitude. And also, because she’d mistakenly thought he was trying to encourage her, to help her lose what he’d described as her ‘unpolished edges’.
It wasn’t until the thought of being married to the man brought on full blown panic attacks that Kimika realized she had to get away. And by then, most of the damage had been done. Everyone thought Haruto was completely charming and that she should be honored to be his wife.
Even her own family.
And Kimika had felt more and more trapped, less and less listened to… until all she could do to free herself was flee, despite the dishonor it brought to her family.
She just hadn’t felt like there was any other choice… unless she’d gone through with the wedding.
And then, she truly believed, she would have lost herself completely.
But now she was here.
Now she was free.
Now, she had healed… well not totally. But when psychologist, Dr Sadie Jones, had arrived at the island, Kimika had made use of the complementary therapy sessions offered to the staff as part of their employment package, and she was resolutely working through many of her issues.
It was why she had the courage to be here this evening.
Kimika wasn’t ‘cured’ of the damage Haruto had done to her psyche, but she understood it wasn’t her fault.
So she had hope for her future.
And here, doing something that she’d always dreamed of, was as good a place as any to embrace that hope, and that future.
CHAPTER7
Kimika felt unexpectedly bereft when the scene ended.
It had been scorchingly hot, almost to the point that she was discombobulated to bear witness to the intimacy of triple penetration.
But Kimi’s cheeks were heated in a way that had nothing to do with embarrassment, since her panties were soaked as well.