“Then what was it? Jealously? No one does that to someone else unless they want to hurt them.”
“You were always so busy with work; he didn’t think he was important to you.”
My mouth dropped open. “I moved back to Colorado to be with him.”
“You made him feel inferior. You were always smarter than both of us. He felt carefree with me.”
I put up my hand. My stomach was in knots. “Stop. Just stop. Stop trying to make me the bad guy to justify your actions. I can’t help how he felt. And I certainly can’t help you. Own your own feelings.”
“Lizzy…”
I put up my hand again, and closed my eyes. I practically shouted. “Please stop. Please stop calling me that. You always use it when you’re trying to be cute, or get your way. Please. No more.”
She nodded. “Elizabeth, I love him. I loved him since the first time I saw him on the ice. You didn’t even know he existed. He played for our college team. We had a few mutual friends and I thought we would stay in touch when he was drafted. But we didn’t. When you brought him home, I thought my entire world collapsed.”
“I know all this, Amanda. Not that you loved him, but that you’d known him. Remember, at dinner that night, we laughed about how small the world was.”
She sighed, “I guess what I’m telling you is that I couldn’t have not loved him. He calms me. I know who he is under all that arrogance,” she paused, “and he gets me.”
Even though I had come to my own realization about the rightness of them, it hurt to hear her say it.
And talking with her was exhausting. “Can we be finished with this? I don’t want to do this with you anymore.”
My phone chimed with a text reminder.
She stood. “Sounds like someone is trying to reach you. I’ll go back to the party now.”
I nodded.
She continued, “I love you so much, Elizabeth. I hope that you’ll come to the wedding. I want you to be there. You don’t even have to be a bridesmaid.”
I opened my eyes wide.
“Unless you want to, I mean.”
“No, no. Nope. Nope. No, no.”
“Well, I hope someday you’ll forgive me. For now, I’m just glad you came.”
She quietly shut the door and I flopped back on the bed. I reached around for my clutch, opened it, and pulled out my phone.
I missTodd
I smiled. What would someone flirty say in response? Since I had never been good at flirting, I didn’t respond. My heart fluttered though, and that made it really easy to leave the party.
Chapter 12
Two things Iwas happy to see - Todd and sunlight.
In the weeks since my return to Alaska, the hours of sunlight had lengthened, and Todd and I could walk farther into the backcountry.
Alaska had given me what I’d needed, when I’d needed it. Breathing room. But ever since visiting my family and finally being face to face with my sister and Clay, I’d felt both released and confined. I was glad I could start healing, but being so far away had me feeling isolated.
It had been hard to leave Amy. She was like a sweet puppy. Not so hard to leave Amanda. I had worshiped her growing up, but now I could see how selfish and immature she really was. She and Clay deserved each other.
Part of my heart still hurt. Mostly because I had been so naïve. Blinded by his looks and status, I had overlooked his vanity.
Brett’s face, laughing on the snow-mobile popped into my head, and I shook it. Confident? Yes. Reckless? Possibly. Vain? No, he had no reason to be.