He feared that he’d defaulted too quickly to anger as a way to protect himself from what he’d been feeling. Far too easy to be hurt and angry instead of giving her the understanding and forgiveness she’d needed.
Because he finally had to admit to himself that he’d fallen head over heels in love with her.
I love her.
Love was what he’d been feeling, what he’d been so afraid of. But did he even deserve her love when he’d been so cruel and callous? He’d had her thrown in jail, for God’s sake.
No wonder she didn’t want to give this thing between them a second chance. She didn’t want to be hurt again, and he didn’t blame her. She also thought the class difference between them insurmountable. But he’d been around the O’Briens, Nesses, and Strathmores enough to realize that they’d withstand whatever scandal might come their way. They’d entered the twentieth century, and the world he’d grown up in no longer made sense.
Somehow, he had to find the words to earn her forgiveness and help her see that they belonged together. He just hoped he hadn’t already ruined it all irrevocably.
He turned it all over in his head for several more hours before he finally realized that their story wasn’t over yet. There was still time to fix it, still time to try and figure things out. She didn’t know how he felt about her, and she’d probably been trying to defend her own heart as fiercely as he’d been trying to defend his.
They could make a life together. He was certain of it.
But first, he had to have what was certain to be a very unpleasant conversation with his father.
Determined to get it over with, he spurred his horse on to Stonebridge.
* * *
AFTER HER TRIP TO THEJ Division station, Heather had spent the rest of her evening in her room at Jocelyn’s house, trying to forget about her meeting with Drake. After she’d identified Jacob from the safety of the hallway, she’d given her official statement about the Citizens Committee to Inspector Ness, with Jacob’s curses and threats ringing in her ears. Even though she knew she was finally free of him, he terrified her. Luckily, she’d still been numb from her conversation with Drake.
The last thing she’d expected was that he’d be ready to listen to her now, that he’d once again look at her as though he cared. She couldn’t believe she’d found the strength to walk away when all she’d really wanted was to throw herself into his arms and beg for his forgiveness.
She knew it had been the right thing to do, but she’d spent most of the evening crying for all she could never have, for the few brief moments of happiness she’d known in his arms.
But the next morning, she woke up determined to do better. She took another long, hot bath, spoiled by the luxury of being able to do so every day. Then she dressed in one of Allison’s loveliest day gowns, a periwinkle blue with white lace that matched her eyes perfectly.
By the time she joined Jocelyn and Allison for breakfast, she felt almost human again after her short but terrifying stint in prison. “Good morning,” she said shyly as she took her place at the breakfast table. She’d spent yesterday morning in her room and the afternoon at the station, so she hadn’t really had a chance to talk to them since she’d been released.
Allison turned to her with glowing eyes. “You look beautiful,” she declared. “How are you feeling today?”
“Much better,” Heather assured her. “Thank you again for all you did to get me released from that horrible place.”
Laughing merrily, Allison slid her the teapot. “I think you’d still be here today even if I’d done nothing. Blackstone didn’t really want to keep you there. He jumped on the excuse to let you go.”
“He did try to talk to me when I went back there yesterday afternoon to give my statement.” Heather sighed as she filled her teacup with steaming hot water. “But I told him there was nothing left for us to say. I’ll probably never see him again.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure of that,” Jocelyn chimed in. “He’s head over heels for you, if you ask me.”
Heather looked between Jocelyn and Allison in disbelief. “That’s absolutely ridiculous. I know you’re trying to make me feel better, but I’m all right.”
She wasn’t all right. She wasn’t the least little bit all right, but it made her uncomfortable to hear them talking as though this had just been a little lover’s spat. He would never forgive her for what she’d done, and she didn’t deserve his forgiveness. She’d done horrible things, and she’d never forget the look in his eyes when he’d realized how she’d betrayed him.
Jocelyn and Allison exchanged a doubtful look but thankfully let the matter drop. For the rest of the meal, they talked about light, inconsequential things, but no matter how Heather tried to force a cheerful mien, she couldn’t shake the despair of knowing she’d never again be held in Drake’s strong arms.
* * *
DRAKE ARRIVED AT STONEBRIDGEnear dusk, after having ridden hard all afternoon. He rode slowly down the tree-lined drive, taking in his childhood home with mixed feelings of nostalgia and pain. He’d grown up here, in this beautiful Palladian palace, but he still found it a bit intimidating as he approached.
Generations of his family had lived here, so it wasn’t surprising that his father was so determined to see the estate survive into this century and many more to come. But the cost of maintaining it had become staggering, and the estate wasn’t producing the way it once had.
The marquess should have realized long ago that Mortimer didn’t give a damn about Stonebridge. Once he inherited it, he’d strip it of its treasures and leave it to rot.
Am I willing to take this on?
Though he wouldn’t officially be able to claim the title as long as his father and brother were still alive, if Danbury were locked up in a madhouse all the responsibilities that his brother had at least marginally taken care of would fall on Drake’s shoulders.