His gaze followed the movement of her hand. “I would never make you go through that alone. I will take care of you. I promise.”
She laughed hollowly. “Are you asking me to be your mistress?”
He was a good man. A kind man. And he probably even thought he was doing the right thing now. But she knew all too well that his interest in her would fade, especially once she was swollen with his child and no longer attractive. Eventually, he would leave. They all did.
“No,” he said slowly, sounding very uncertain. “I’m not asking you to be my mistress, Heather. That’s not what I want at all. I’m asking you to be my wife.”
“Your wife?” She stared at him in mingled elation and dismay, certain she’d misheard him. “You must be joking.”
“I’m not.” He ran a hand through his inky hair, seeming uncomfortable and uncertain, emotions she knew he didn’t often feel. “I’ve ruined you, Heather. And I want to do right by you.”
Her heart broke a little at his sweetness, But she knew he didn’t want this. “When we met, you didn’t even think me worthy of being introduced to you,” she reminded him gently. “And now you’re going to marry me?” She shook her head. “Besides... you didn’t ruin me. I was... ruined before we ever met.”
A soft sound of denial escaped him, but then, to her surprise, he reached out and pulled her back against him. “I don’t like that word. I shouldn’t have used it. You’re not ruined, darling. You’re beautiful and perfect. I don’t care if I wasn’t your first. I would be honored to make you my wife.”
“Oh, Drake,” she whispered, wanting so badly to take his words at face value and stunned by his easy acceptance of the fact that she hadn’t been a virgin. She wished more than anything that she could just accept his proposal, pretend that they could make things work, pretend that he loved her. But they’d only known each other a few days, even though it somehow seemed a lifetime. His honor was commendable, but she couldn’t ask him to destroy his reputation because they’d had sex when they’d feared they would never make it out of that cellar alive. She knew that eventually, he’d come to resent her, that he'd be ashamed of her.
She almost wished that hehadasked her to be his mistress. Even that was probably more than she deserved but at least then she’d have been able to remain with him a little longer.
His men would undoubtedly catch up to Jacob soon, and her old lover would give her up in a minute to save his own skin. And once Drake realized that she’d had a part in this, that she’d been part of the explosion that had cost two lives... He would hate her then.
There was no possible way that her life could have the fairytale ending he was offering her right now.
“You don’t have to give me an answer yet.” Seeming to sense her inner turmoil, he pressed his lips tenderly to her temple. “It was foolish of me to bring this up tonight. We’ve both had a rough few days, and we shouldn’t be making any rash decisions. I just wanted you to know that I didn’t take what happened between us lightly.”
“Neither did I.” She sighed and gazed up at him, wishing she were someone else, someone who hadn’t already destroyed her life so completely. Because there was nothing in the world that she wanted more than to say yes. “I loved making love to you, Drake. It is the only thing that has made any sense to me since this all began.”
Tossing caution to the wind, she lifted up on her tiptoes and wrapped her arms around his neck. She could never be his wife, but perhaps she could steal a few more minutes in his arms. “Kiss me,” she breathed. “All I need in this moment is to be close to you again.”
He drew in a sharp breath, then wrapped his arms around her, lifting her up against him as his mouth came crashing down upon hers. The hunger in his kiss fed the desperation clawing deep within her. They kissed as though they might never see each other again, as though this was the last time they’d ever know this sweet pleasure.
Still holding her against him, he carried her over to the stone bench, his hands lifting her skirts so that she could straddle his lap as he sat. Not to be outdone, she struggled with the front of his trousers. He groaned and brushed her hands away, freeing his erection to the night air.
She wrapped one hand around him, stunned by his heat, by the silky heft of him. As she experimentally stroked him from base to tip, he broke the kiss long enough to gasp, “I love your hands on me.”
She stroked him again, and he groaned and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Much more of that and I’ll come undone in your hand, darling.”
She laughed breathlessly, remembering how he’d touched her before coming inside her, the way he’d pleasured her so completely first. Could she do that for him? Were there different ways of making love than just the one they’d engaged in? She wanted to learn them all.
Before she could act upon her newfound power over him, he shifted so that his hot, heavy length was probing her entrance. “Take me inside you,” he whispered.
Shivering, she realized what he wanted and let him press inside her. She slowly sank down upon his length until he was seated deep inside her. Eyes wide, she stared at him in the dim light. “Oh, Drake.”
“Is this all right?” he asked, his voice rough. “Can you ride me, Heather?”
She nodded jerkily, still shocked by how full she felt, as if he’d filled every single lonely part of her. She slowly rocked against him, feeling embarrassed and uncomfortable at first, but then getting into a rhythm that rubbed that most sensitive spot just right, making that shimmering feeling start to build deep within her.
“That’s right, darling,” he breathed, his hands on her hips, guiding her as he moved against her, making all the feelings intensify to a fever pitch. Suddenly, heat burst within her, spreading from her center out in a fountain of pleasure even more intense than she’d felt the last time.
She fell forward against him, muffling her cry in his shoulder as he drove into her even faster. Suddenly he went rigid beneath her, choking back his own hoarse cry.
They clung together, still breathing heavily, and she pressed her face against his shirt, wondering what in the world she was doing. She certainly hadn’t meant to do this with him again tonight. But she also didn’t want to talk about the ridiculous idea of marrying him.
This was all there could be between them, and that was fine. She was a modern woman, and there was no reason why she couldn’t take a lover if she wanted one.
She would go with him to the house where he kept his mistresses, and as long as he was good to her, as long as he still wanted her, she would stay there with him. All she knew for certain was that she wasn’t ready to let him go.