Her cheeks heating once more, she tore her gaze away from him and cast her eyes down at her plate, hoping no one had seen her staring at him.
A glance in Allison’s direction assured her that she hadn’t been that lucky. Allison was looking back and forth between Heather and Drake as though she was watching a tennis match and was trying desperately to figure out the score.
Well, Heather hoped Allison figured it out so that she could ask her friend later. Because at the moment, she felt just as confused.
Much to her relief, dinner passed fairly quickly, with the two married couples carrying the bulk of the conversation. The unpleasantness of the drawing room was behind them now, and they all seemed thrilled to be in each other’s company, as though they were at some country house party instead of banded together for protection.
Heather felt a pang of jealousy, once more feeling very alone, always the third wheel, the odd one out. She was on the fringes of their lives but never truly a part of them. She could only look in, like a starving child with her nose pressed against the glass, wishing for any scraps they might toss her.
Blinking back a sudden wash of tears as she remembered the starving girl she’d once actually been, she grabbed blindly for her wine glass, only to knock it over and send a blood-red stain rushing across the snowy white tablecloth.
“I’m so sorry,” she gasped, as Drake jumped to his feet to avoid getting it in his lap.
He smiled briefly at her, the first time he’d met her gaze since they sat down, and hurried to sop it up with his napkin.
“It’s quite all right,” Jocelyn hurried to reassure her as several footmen stepped forward and took over for Drake, hurriedly cleaning up the mess and then melting back against the wall.
Heather knew her face must be flaming even more scarlet and wondered how much embarrassment a person could take in one night. This seemed to be all the proof any of them might need that she did not belong here, and the desire to flee the room was so strong that it was all she could do to remain in her chair.
Drake sat back down. “It really is all right,” he assured her quietly, pitching his voice low so that only she could hear. “No harm done.”
“I’m so clumsy,” she muttered. “I should have been more careful.”
He waved her apology away with a casual motion of his elegant hand, and her gaze caught upon the way the candlelight reflected in his shiny dark hair. He looked even more handsome tonight in his formal black evening clothes, and she wondered if he’d somehow found time to send for his own things or if he’d borrowed something of Inspector Ness’s.
Since she’d had a chance to pack some of her own clothes, she felt that she looked better than usual in the one fancy dress she owned, a lovely sapphire blue gown with black embroidery. Allison had insisted that she get it the last time the modiste had come, and she hadn’t been able to say no, especially when her employer was paying. Sometimes she accompanied Allison to events, and she needed to look presentable even if she was just supposed to fade into the background.
“We need to talk,” he said, even quieter this time. “Can you meet me in the garden after everyone goes to bed?”
She could only nod, her heart racing with the anticipation of being alone with him again.
They didn’t speak again through the rest of the meal, and she swallowed a groan of frustration when Jocelyn announced that the men would be going to Inspector Ness’s study for cigars and drinks while the women adjourned to the gold drawing room.
She had no doubt her friends were about to demand to know every detail of what had happened between her and Drake in that cellar, and she had no idea what she should tell them.
Sure enough, they’d barely settled in their chairs before Allison and Jocelyn turned to her expectantly. “You simply must tell us what happened between you and Blackstone!” Allison demanded. “He’s acting very familiar with you. And you can’t even look at him without turning scarlet.”
Heather stared at the floor, unable to look at them. “We already told you. Being together in such a dangerous situation formed a bond between us. He just wants to ensure that I stay safe.”
“And he doesn’t think Sebastian and Quinn are capable of protecting you?” Jocelyn asked, her tone prickly in defense of her beloved husband. “I don’t understand why he wants to take you somewhere else. Surely you’re safer here. It all seems very suspicious to me.”
Heather pressed her hands to her cheeks, unsurprised to find them flaming hot. She decided she might as well tell the truth, as nothing else would convince them to let her go with Blackstone. “Very well. We did share a few kisses,” she admitted.
“A few kisses?” Allison asked, arching her brows suspiciously. “And that was enough to make you want to go away with him, unchaperoned, to a house where he probably keeps his mistresses?”
With a gasp, Heather surged to her feet, crossing the room to the window and giving them her back as she struggled to compose herself. She didn’t know which hurt worse, the thought of Drake having mistresses or the thought that he was considering her for that role. How could she have been so foolish? Of course, that was all he could possibly want from her. Especially after she’d already given herself to him so freely.
“That was harsh,” Jocelyn finally chided Allison. “You don’t know that’s what he uses this place for, Allison.”
“Well, he doesn’t live there himself. He lives in the family townhouse with Danbury. So why else would he have a whole house sitting there unused?” Allison fired back, sounding exasperated. “I just want her to know what his likely intentions are.”
The fact that Allison thought her incapable of navigating her relationship with Drake washed away some of her embarrassment, leaving anger in its wake. She didn’t understand why they thought their situations had been so different than her own. Both of them could have ended up broken-hearted, cast away after they’d given up their virginity, but they’d been willing to take that chance.
Well, so was she.
“Both of you decided to take a lover,” Heather finally said, turning to face them. “You were both very open about it with me, and I was completely supportive. So why shouldn’t I explore my attraction to Drake? I’m nearing thirty, and he’s handsome and kind. I might never get a better opportunity to see what all the fuss is about. Besides, I really do think he will keep me safe.”
Allison stared at her for a long moment, then cleared her throat. “Jocelyn and I both had the upper hand in our situations.”