He laughed softly. “I rarely am either. Perhaps it’s the soldier and the policeman in me, but I usually don’t like being vulnerable like this. I stay fully dressed unless I’m in bed. And even then, I wear nightclothes. I suppose I want to be ready for the worst at all times. But I don’t mind being naked with you. It feels comfortable.”
She smiled against his chest, liking the fact that they were so close he could probably feel it. “Then let’s be naked as much as possible during our times together.”
His arms tightened around her. “Does that mean you want to do this again?”
“Of course,” she said. “I love being with you, Sebastian. I want us to be lovers.” Again, her face grew hot at her own daring, and she was glad he couldn’t see it. She couldn’t believe she’d actually asked for what she wanted. Had she ever done such a thing in her entire life? What was it about this man that made her feel so free to be herself?
With a swiftness that made her a little dizzy, he rolled her so she was on her back and he was on his side looking down at her, his handsome face serious, but a gleam of happiness in his beautiful blue eyes. “Are you certain? You’re a countess, and I’m a lowly police inspector. I can’t get over feeling as though I’m not good enough to kiss your dainty little shoes, let alone all the things I want to do to other parts of you.”
“It doesn’t matter,” she assured him. “It’s not like we’re getting married. No one ever has to know about this.”
He stiffened, and she immediately knew she’d said the wrong thing. When she played it back in her mind, she cringed. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she hastened to assure him. “I wouldn’t care if the whole world knew about it. You’re more than good enough for me, Sebastian. I just like the idea of you being my lover. To have this one beautiful thing that is just for me, for my pleasure. That in this one part of my life, I don’t have to worry about all the rules.”
He nodded, looking as though her words had somewhat appeased him, though she suspected that deep down, he was still hurt, which was the last thing she’d wanted.
“Well, if this is all I can be for you, then I feel as though I have to make it my duty to be the very best lover I can be,” he told her, letting his hand drift from her face, down the column of her throat, then cupping one of her breasts and toying with her nipple. “Are you ready for more?”
“Yes,” she breathed. “I want to know what it’s like to truly make love to you, Sebastian. I want to know how it feels to have you inside me.”
He gave a low, sexy growl of a sound and captured her mouth with his. At her hip, where his cock had gone soft, she felt it begin to harden once more. As they kissed passionately, his hands roamed her body, tantalizing her breasts and between her thighs until she was gasping and moaning into his mouth, trying to again know that feeling he’d given her once before.
At last, he rolled on top of her, bracing his arms on either side of her head to keep his weight from crushing her. He broke the kiss and stared down into her eyes, spreading her thighs with his own and then settling between them so she could feel his hardness pressed against her damp, aching sex.
“Tell me again that you want this,” he demanded, his voice a low, husky growl. “Tell me you want me.”
“I want you,” she said, hoping he knew how much she meant it, not just at this moment but all the time. “I want you inside me, Sebastian.”
“I love hearing you say that.” Reaching between them, he took himself in hand and rubbed the tip against her, teasing and tantalizing her until she didn’t think she could stand it any longer.
Seeming to know when she’d reached her limit, he thrust into her in one smooth stroke, then stayed deep within her, his arms trembling as he stared down at her. “Is that all right? Does it feel good? I don’t want to hurt you.”
She bit her lip, the pleasant fullness like nothing she’d experienced with Albert. She knew now that her husband had never taken the time to prepare her, to make sure her body was ready for him. With Sebastian, there was no pain at all, just him and her, linked together. For this moment at least, they were one.
“It’s good,” she breathed. “So good.”
“For me, too,” he said, and then he began to move. Any coherent thought she’d ever had fled in the wake of the pleasure that surged through her. Then he put his hand between them, once more toying with the spot she hadn’t even known about, and the combined sensations were indescribable.
Within a few minutes, she was pulsing around him, crying out in pleasure as he continued to thrust deep within her. She realized she was crying, not from sadness or anger this time, but from the sheer beauty of it.
Then he stiffened and jerked away from her, spilling his seed on her stomach before he collapsed on his side next to her.
She reached for his shirt again, cleaning herself off and cuddling against him once more. She was grateful that he’d done what he must to protect her from getting pregnant, but a tiny part of her wished that he hadn’t. She loved Oliver more than anything, but she couldn’t imagine what it would be like to give birth to the child of a man who wanted her, who wanted to be in the baby’s life. She knew instinctively that Sebastian would be a wonderful father.
He wrapped his arms around her and pressed a sweet kiss on her head. “Thank you,” he whispered.
She laughed hoarsely, realizing her throat was rough from crying out. “I feel like I’m the one who should be thanking you. Now I finally see what all the fuss was about.”
He gave a huff of laughter. “I’m glad you liked it.”
Snuggling closer, she laid her head on his chest, loving the way his heart thudded beneath her cheek. Overwhelmed with emotions, she simply let him hold her, the fireplace crackling beside them, still providing enough warmth that she wasn’t ready to reach for a blanket just yet.
Words of tenderness... perhaps even love?... welled up in her throat. Whatever it was, she’d certainly never felt it before. But she tamped the emotions back because they were so very raw and new she didn’t even know how to give voice to them.
I have a lover, she thought once more, and then she drifted off to sleep.