Shaking his head, he kissed her forehead. “I will do my best, but you must know that this isn’t completely effective. There’s still a small chance that it could happen.”
“There is?” she asked in a small voice. To be honest, she hadn’t even really considered that when she’d decided to make Quinn her lover. But he’d mentioned the possibility every time they’d been together this way, and Heather had been concerned about it as well, and she could no longer fool herself into thinking it couldn’t happen to her. Women got pregnant outside of marriage all the time, and it destroyed not just their own lives but that of their children.
“I don’t know if there is any way to do this act and be completely certain that it won’t end in that result. I think there are herbs you can take, and I could wrap myself with something, but all of those methods sometimes fail.” Seeing the expression on her face, he added, “I would understand if you did not want to take that chance. I think it’s only fair that you know the risks.”
She swallowed thickly. “Thank you.”
He stared deeply into her eyes for a moment, seeming to sense her sudden panic, then rolled off her onto his back beside her. “While you’re thinking about that, I’ll show you a few other ways, all right?”
“Yes,” she said gratefully.
“Climb on top of me,” he instructed. “Straddle my hips.”
Blushing furiously, she did as he’d requested, this position making her feel even more vulnerable than the last one had. His hips spread her legs incredibly wide, and her most private place was cradling his hardness. Plus, her breasts seemed to dangle right in his face.
He placed his hands on her hips, holding her even tighter against him. “In this position, you are in control. You rock against me, with my cock inside you, at your own pace. But it would be much harder for me to successfully pull out of you in this position.”
She couldn’t believe they were speaking so frankly about such a sensitive subject. But she absolutely loved that he was giving her all this information, allowing her to decide for herself what she wanted and how she wanted it.
Lifting his hands, he gently cupped her breasts. “This is one of my favorite positions because I love the sight of bouncing breasts, love to be able to touch them and even kiss them.”
“Kiss them?” she asked breathlessly.
“Yes, like this.” Pulling her upper body toward his face, he leaned forward. He took one of her nipples in his mouth, kissing and sucking it until she was writhing on top of him, unconsciously pressing her quim more fully against his hardness, suddenly understanding very clearly how this position would work.
When he moved on to the other side, and the air hit the nipple that was wet and thoroughly pleasured, she found herself losing all sense of self-consciousness about her nakedness. She loved being naked with Quinn. She loved the feel of his hands and mouth and skin against her bare breasts and thighs.
After several more moments of lavishing her breasts with attention, he plucked her off of him and rolled to his side, putting a little space between them as he visibly struggled to catch his breath. “Sorry, princess. I need a minute. The feel of you grinding against me, your sweet breast in my mouth... it’s nearly more than I can bear. I want to be inside you so badly.”
His words thrilled her but also reminded her that she was playing with fire. Until he’d brought up the issue of pregnancy, she’d only thought of it in an abstract way. But now, she couldn’t get it out of her head. That was a very dire and real consequence of the little bit of fun and adventure she’d hoped for.
It wasn’t fair that men could be as promiscuous as they wanted and never have to face the consequences. They weren’t the ones who had to bear the shame of a pregnancy out of wedlock, and even when they did sire a bastard, they could just choose not to acknowledge it. But were she to become pregnant, all of her money and social status wouldn’t help her. She’d be shunned and vilified, branded a whore.
“Quinn,” she said, her voice small. “I’m very afraid of having a baby.”
He drew in a deep breath, then let it out slowly as he reached across the small distance that separated them and took her hand. “You should be. The ton would eat you alive if you bore the illegitimate child of a lowly police inspector.” He turned on his side so that they were facing each other, their hands still clasped between them. “But I’d never let a child of mine be branded with that stigma. I’d marry you, Allison. You know that, don’t you?”
What she saw in those gorgeous green eyes of his humbled her. He’d already told her he wanted a wife and a family, and they both knew she wasn’t the type of wife he wanted or needed. The fact that he was willing to sacrifice that life to protect her, even when she was the one who’d come to him...
He'd gone above and beyond to explain both the pleasures and the pitfalls of what she was asking. Her entire idea of making him her lover now seemed shallow and selfish, and she understood all too clearly why he’d said he didn’t want to be her plaything.
“You are the best man I know,” she whispered. “Thank you for being so honest, so kind, for giving me the information I needed to make an informed decision. I’m sorry for being so impulsive, for not thinking things through more clearly.”
“Don’t apologize.” He slowly let go of her hand. “But I think it’s time we got you home.”