And she would determinedly ignore her grief for all she’d be losing.
“I don’t see that fiancé of yours, girl.”
“Didn’t I tell you?” Clara said in an offhand manner, knowing full well she hadn’t, as she’d been studiously avoiding her great-aunt for the better part of four days. “Quincy received a missive from his solicitor earlier this afternoon. Something about documents from his Lancashire estate. He said to expect him later this evening.”
Which, as she’d expected, did nothing at all to assuage Aunt Olivia’s ire.
“His place is beside you. Why I ever agreed to keep quiet on such a momentous bit of news I’ll never know.”
“Aunt Olivia,” Clara hissed as Lady Crabtree eyed them with more than a fair bit of interest. She gave the woman a sick smile, dipping into a curtsy before doing her best to guide Aunt Olivia away.
But the woman would not budge. “Don’tAunt Oliviame, girl. My great-niece, at the advanced age of nearly one and thirty, finally lands herself a husband, adukeno less, and you expect me to stay quiet? It’s ridiculous.”
“But Phoebe—” she tried helplessly.
“Will not know a moment’s less joy from having her dear sister announce her own good fortune. If anything, it will increase it exponentially.”
A valid point. Hadn’t Phoebe told her that very thing more than once over the past days? When Clara considered her decision to delay the announcement, she found there were only two possible reasons. The first, that she feared for the widespread damage to her reputation once she ended the engagement—laughable, really; with Phoebe wed she had no use for such a thing. And the second, that her feelings for Quincy ran deeper than she had first surmised.
She blanched. No, that could not possibly be true. She could not be so stupid as to fall for the man. Physical attraction she could understand. And control. But if she were falling in love with him—
No, she would not even consider such a thing. To prove that her heart was in no way in danger, she purposely turned to her great aunt and declared, “You’re right, Aunt Olivia. It’s ridiculous to delay. We’ll announce it tonight.”
Her great-aunt blinked at the abrupt about-face before she grinned. “Splendid, my girl. You are, once more, my favorite niece.”
Before Clara could think what to say to that, Peter approached.
“Aunt Olivia, Lenora has set up a chair for you here in the receiving line so you don’t have to miss a minute of gloating.”
The viscountess’s eyes narrowed as she took his proffered arm. “I think I’ve a right to gloat, don’t you? Especially now that Clara has agreed to let us announce her engagement as well.”
Peter glanced at Clara, his shock palpable. “Has she?”
“Yes,” Aunt Olivia said with a fond smile for Clara. “And so my happiness is complete. All save, of course, for Freya.” Her voice turned stern once more. “Why you won’t allow her to come down is beyond me.”
“She’s a dog, Aunt,” he gritted as he guided her away, shooting Clara a troubled look that warned of a later conversation about her unexpected reversal. “She has no place at a London ball.”
“She is not just a dog to me, my boy,” she said in ringing tones. “And besides, she’d be a good deal better behaved than many of our guests, I’d wager.”
Lenora joined Clara as they moved out of earshot. “You truly wish to have the announcement tonight?” she whispered in her ear.
“There’s no sense in putting it off,” she said with a bright smile. “It will make everyone happy. Especially Phoebe, whose joy is paramount to me.”
“And what of your happiness, dear?”
Anger flared deep in her, a spark to dry tinder; when had her happiness ever been a consideration? Since her tragic youthful mistake she had always put her own wants and desires last. And everyone had seemed more than content for her to do so. If her happiness had ever been part of the equation, she would—
What? She blinked, her anger draining from her as quickly as it had come. What would truly make her happy? And it hit her: she had no idea.
She shook her head, nearly blanching. Of course she knew what would make her happy. Making this blasted engagement seem real enough that, when the time came to end it, she would be free of ever having to deal with her great-aunt’s matchmaking again. And finding her new place in her family so she might feel like she wasn’t a burden to them.
“This will make me happy,” she said firmly.
Lenora gave her a cautious look. “Should we wait to talk to Quincy?”
“No. I’m certain he would agree. We’ll do it tonight,” Clara said, with much more conviction than she felt. And prayed that she wasn’t making an enormous mistake.
***