“You’ve had only a few close relationships. Ronan, your coach from high school, and now Jasper. So perhaps some of your mistrust for others has lessened? You seem to have made new friends, Darden, Brogan, and Cece?”
My lips twitch at the memory of a game night we had at Darden’s. Cece stole a ceramic angel, Brogan used a Russian accent all night, and Darden bossed everyone around with his cane. Francesca laughed the entire night, her face lit up.
“You seem calm for a man who lost his job recently.”
I inhale a deep breath. “Yeah.”
“You’re making inroads, learning to balance your life with the emotional upheaval of your childhood, along with your father’s suicide and your mother’s rejection. Those aren’t easy roads, Tuck, yet you’re sitting here and you’re not the same man from last year.”
“The meds?”
She inclines her head. “They can certainly help your brain chemistry, but some of this is you opening yourself up. This is the right path for healing.”
My stomach flutters. I want that. I do.
“And your mother? There’s no contact since her manic episode?”
“She’s on new medication and back to her normal routine. According to the director, she’s enjoying life.”
“How does that make you feel?”
Emotion claws at my throat every time I think of her.
“Abandoned. Angry.”
“Do you need her forgiveness? Is your happiness dependent on her love and acceptance?”
“I have no other family that I care about.”
“What if she calls you tomorrow and says she never wants to see you again and she’ll never forgive you?”
A wave of grief hits, and I lean over and scrub my face. “Devastated.”
Compassion flits over her face. “I suggest you write a letter to confront her with your feelings, then move on with whatever her choice is.”
My jaw clenches. “And that’s all it takes? A letter?”
“I don’t know. That’s up to you. But you need some kind of closure with her.” She pauses, her pen tapping against her pad. “Let me ask you this: What if you could live a perfect life? What would it look like?”
I swallow and look out the window.
Me playing ball, my mom and I reconciled, and ... I rub my chest. Francesca.
How long will she stick with me before she wants arealfamily ...?
“A new team? Your relationship with your mother? Your girlfriend? Your nonprofit?” She stands, signaling the end of the session. “Envision your ideal life five years from now. Who are you? What have you accomplished? What makes you happy?”
I leave, thoughts churning. When I get in my car, the packet from yesterday is still on the passenger side. I pick it up to open it, then put it back down, my chest rising.
I told her I’d never investigate her again, but ...
Chapter 17
FRANCESCA
My place tonight. Jasper has plans so it’s just usis the text that Tuck sends. I frown at the lack of endearments he usually includes.
Okay. You want to cook or me?