“For you Percy. You’re in love. Truly in love, it’s not some infatuation with a gorgeous and powerful Princess. I feel your love, and I fear the day she breaks your heart. One does not recover from such a loss,” she told me.
I kicked her out. I imagined her rope and set it alight. I felt her knocking multiple times throughout the lesson, but I didn’t open the door.
Her words hurt me.
Because I feared that day too.
“Percy, you will not be here next week,” Dr. Phears told me, stopping me as I was leaving.
“Why not?” I asked her, confused.
“You will be in dance classes for the summer ball with the other servants. You will need to study independently to keep up with my lessons.” I nodded my understanding. “Chapters four through seven and chapter twelve will be covered next week. Make sure you study,” she instructed.
“Yes, Dr. Phears, I’ll keep up,” I told her. She smiled and allowed me to leave.
“Percy, wait!” Heidi called, grabbing my shoulder. “I’m sorry. I upset you, and it wasn’t my intention,” she told me.
“I know. I felt your sadness,” I replied. I knew she hadn’t meant to hurt me; if she had, I would have felt something much different to sadness. “It’s just, I’m scared, you’re right,” I told her quietly.
I was scared one day, maybe soon, Selene would discard me.
She would marry, become Queen, and where was I in that plan?
She said I would always be around, but it was easy to keep me now when she was a Princess and didn’t have the responsibilities of a queen. She wasn’t foolish; she would become a strong and capable monarch. And would she want me then, or even have time for me?
One day she would break me. Not my heart, not some metaphorical part of me, but she would break me. My entire person would be broken by her loss.
“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Heidi said apologetically.
“Are you travelling back with me?” I asked her, changing the subject.
“No, I can’t stand the main café. It’s far too crowded. I’ll see you around before the ball,” she said, patting my shoulder before she left.
Rylan was waiting outside with the car door open for me.
“Thank you, Rylan,” I told him as I entered the car. He got in the front to drive and soon we were walking to wait outside Selene’s class.
When her class was out, I saw her walking and talking with some of her classmates. She approached us, nodding to Rylan, who promptly left.
She didn’t greet me, instead continuing her conversation.
“Are you going to coordinate with Oskar?” I recognised Rebecca from the equestrian centre.
“Yes, it’s summer stars. Halvorsen's colours are gold. That’s all I’m willing to reveal. You’ll have to wait to see on the night,” she replied.
“I’m sure the two of you will be in the spotlight all night and look appropriately like stars. Should we expect press this year? It’s always a possibility with the summer ball, but there is far more to be excited about this year,” Rebecca said. I followed behind as they made their way to the café.
“I have it on good authority that there will be press this year. Dress your best, Rebecca,” Selene told her.
Did press mean newspapers? Ana said there would be a photographer. I had seen Selene, long before I met her, in the pages of old newspapers. I had always thought she was beautiful and powerful in those black and white images, attending various events. Was the summer ball one of those events she would be photographed attending?
I watched as she ran her hand through her long black waves in a manner that made me think she was uncomfortable. It was subtle, but she always ran her hands through her hair when nervous. What did she have to be worried about?
I walked closer to her, I wanted to reach out to her, but I knew I couldn’t. I couldn’t take her hand in mine without permission, so casually, so publicly.
We entered the café and made our way towards a table that held Lord Halvorsen, his brother, and other nobles. Lord Halvorsen stood, pulling Selene into a kiss. I turned my head away and took a seat.
Selene sat in the seat between Lord Halvorsen and me. She turned to me for the first time since meeting her after her class to hand me a menu.