“In my own way?” she asked a slight smirk pulling at her lips.
“Yeah. You’re a Princess; there’s nothing ordinary about you.” I smiled and leaned forward to kiss her again. “Don’t ever believe that I think you’re anything less than everything I want and need.”
“Percy, my perfect pet.” She hummed against my lips. “Tell me you’re mine,” she growled in command.
“I’m yours,” I moaned as she moved to suck at my pulse point. “But you’re mine too.”
“Am I?” she asked and bit down hard at the juncture of my neck.
“Yes,” I hissed, enjoying the pain she inflicted and how her growl had morphed into a purr.
“Maybe,” she replied, leaving my neck and meeting my gaze.
It felt like I was drowning in the depths of her eyes and the emotion held within them. An overpowering sense of relief flooded me at her one spoken word and the look she gave me.
“You want me,” I told her, feeling confident, strong even.
“Little pet, have I not made that obvious?” She laughed, and her hands gripped me tighter as she pulled me into her embrace and breathed in my scent deeply.
She held me to her, and it soothed my aching heart. But what about the future, when she was married and a queen? Would I still have this much of her?
I wanted more. I wanted what she would give to him.
“What’s wrong?” she asked against the top of my head, sensing my distress.
“I hate that I can’t have it all,” I told her. “I want all of you. And I can’t stand seeing you give any part of yourself to someone else. I’m angry and jealous, and it’s horrible.” I’d never felt so helpless before. I’d never wanted anything or anyone so terribly.
“I have responsibilities to the kingdom to uphold. Alliances to build and strengthen. Borealis heritage and future to ensure. My life is not my own,” she told me with a heavy sigh. “Pet, you are valuable to me. I cannot deny it. But you do not come before the Borealis Kingdom, nor do I. Do you understand?” she asked and pressed her lips to my head.
“Would you choose me, if you could?” I asked her.
I knew it wasn’t so simple. She was going to be Queen and I wasn’t a noble. I couldn’t fill the role of her King. But if there were no throne, kingdom, or responsibilities, would she choose me then? Had she allowed herself to form a soul match bond with me, or was our time only entertainment for her? Was she merely passing the time with me?
“Do not ask questions that do not need to be answered,” she reprimanded, her tone hard. “Asking ‘What if’, for hypothetical situations that are impossible and will never be, can only lead to heartbreak regardless of my answer,” she continued. There were a few long silent moments, where I could hear my own heart beating. “Halvorsen allows my freedom, without which I would not be able to keep you as I do,” she explained,
“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. She was the Princess; how could he possibly provide her freedom?
“At first, when I began to court him, it was to prevent, rather delay, my hand being sold off in the event of my father’s death. I had to act swiftly; he was there and had made his intentions known publicly. Halvorsen was nothing more than a useful pawn.”
“And now?” I asked. She reached up, tucking my hair behind my ears.
“Halvorsen has become far more necessary than I could have predicted. The betrayal by House Ardens has struck House Borealis deeply. Some view us as weakened. The south has always been a loose chink in the armour of the Borealis Kingdom. House Halvorsen is well placed to reaffirm our control and quiet any rebellion, as well as help guard against our closest neighbouring Kingdom, which is currently in a crisis and has been behaving antagonistically. Halvorsen is the ally Borealis needs now.” She pulled me down until our foreheads rested together and our noses touched.
“However, Halvorsen are useful in one more crucial way,” she whispered, and I listened to her closely.
“How?” I asked when she paused and splayed her hands against my back.
“My courtship with Lord Halvorsen allows me to keep you, pet. I have been far too cavalier in my public affairs and affections with you. Truth be told, I can hardly control myself around you. It has not gone unnoticed. Rumours were spreading throughout the castle. Father was upset with my actions during Mother’s burial service. There were choices to be made. Lord Halvorsen is a choice that keeps you here, with me. You may not like my choice. You may hate it, hate Lord Halvorsen, even hate me. But it is the choice I have made. If you cannot stand to see me with him, I suggest you look away,” she told me, and although her tone was soft, her words were not.
“I could never hate you,” I told her. “Never.”
She pressed her lips to mine.
“Do you promise never to hate me?”
“I don’t need to promise. It’s not a possibility,” I answered. She hummed in a way that made me think she didn’t believe me.
“A change of subject. Tell me what you learned in your Political Structure class,” she commanded, and I groaned loudly and flopped backwards, her hands supporting my weight. She laughed, amused and drew me back upright. Her hand gripped my jaw and pulled me in for one more kiss.