“My car broke down,” I sobbed, as if that wasn’t obvious.
“I know. I told you it was a death trap.”
It was hard to disagree when the Honda sat only a few feet away, still steaming. “What do I do now?”
“I call a tow truck, we take it to the nearest town, which is Mitchell by the way. We grab dinner at the only restaurant in town, stay at the little hotel I booked, wake up, and continue to the painted hills tomorrow.”
“And what if you leave me again?” It came out a whisper, showing Trask just how weak I felt.
“I won’t.” He closed the space between us, pulling me into him. “I won’t fucking leave you. I choose you. Every day I will choose you.”
“It wasn’t about the road trip,” I sobbed, inhaling the scent of him. My arms hung limply at my side. “It wasn’t about the stupid road trip.”
“I know baby, I know.” He kissed my temple, wiping my tears away with his thumbs, angling my face toward his. “I know. I let you down when I said I wouldn’t. I let you down and I am so fucking sorry. But I’m doing what I want! I fucking grew a backbone. I broke the lease with my apartment. Took over the car payments and insurance for the truck. I cut the fucking strings and I can finally breathe. It’s not them or you. It’s you and me.”
My arms tentatively wrapped around his waist and he held me closer until the tears finally dried. Maybe I didn’t have any left to cry.
Trask grabbed my suitcase from my car and threw it in his truck, ushering me inside. Trask talked on the phone with some towing company, arranging for them to pick up my car. I was grateful he didn’t push me to talk. It allowed me to think over the million thoughts running through my brain. As it turned out, the only restaurant in town was closed, so we grabbed burgers from some fast food place and took them up to the hotel room.
There was only one bed and Trask was quick to clarify he’d take the couch. I waved him off, sitting silently, picking at my fries. I didn’t want to think. I wanted to turn my brain off. Sleep for a week.
Trask called and confirmed my car was taken care of and called someone else, I think it was his brother, but I couldn’t be sure. This all felt so surreal like I was exactly where I was supposed to be, but something was still off. It was like I was waiting for the ground to drop out from under me. The fries were like ash in my mouth.
Trask grabbed me by the hand, kneeling in front of me. I sat on the couch, trying to maintain eye contact with him.
“I hurt you,” he whispered, holding my hands in his.
I nodded.
“I will probably hurt you again.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. I nodded.
“But I won’t mean to. I will never mean to hurt you.” He kissed my hands then dropped his hands to my thighs, rubbing his large palms over my legs. “You ran away from me.”
I nodded.
“It’s what you do.”
I nodded again.
His hands traveled down my legs, running over my jeans, stopping at my boots. God, it was as if his warm hands were peeling away the cocoon I’d wrapped around myself these last weeks. “I don’t want you to run away from me,” he whispered. His voice was husky and raw, like he’d screamed at the world just as I had these last few days.
“It’s what I do.”
He shook his head. “Not anymore.” He tugged at the lace on one of my boots, slowly slipping it off of me. “You don’t get to run away. You don’t get to ignore my calls. You don’t get to only answer when you’re drunk and lonely. I was late, but I found you. I won’t let you run away again. Are we clear?”
“Crystal.”
He pulled off my other boot and my socks. Then he tugged my coat from my arms. “I missed you.”
And it was like the dam broke. Between his soft words, his serious eyes, and his hands roving over my body, I couldn’t hold it together. “I need you.” I flung myself at him, he caught me all the same. He wrapped his thick arms around me and lifted me, I wrapped my legs around his waist as he walked us to the bed.
I kissed him, and it was a shock to my nervous system. He tasted sweet and just like Trask. I craved him, all of him.
“I’m sorry,” I nearly sobbed into his mouth. “I should have talked to you.”
“I’m sorry I let you walk away from me.” He kissed me hard, swallowing my moans and cries.