“I missed you too!” I hug her, then turn to Connor, who has Skye sitting on his shoulders.
“My, my!” I exclaim. “Where is my baby niece? Have you guys traded her in for a young lady?” I ask, bugging my eyes out at Skye. She giggles, amused by my antics.
“Is me!” she exclaims, throwing her hands up to the side. “Cuddle.”
“Come here, my little biscuit! I’m going to squish you so hard you’ll stick to me like glue and never leave!” I pull her off Connor’s shoulders and hug her to me. “Hi, Connor.” I wave at him, putting Skye on my hip and covering her with sloppy kisses. “All right, little princess, are you ready for a pony ride all the way to my car? Aunty Tash has got you some awesome stickers to play with.”
“Yaaay,” Skye squeaks as I take off in the direction of the airport’s parking lot, neighing and skipping, pretending to be a horse. The things we do for children…
“We’ve lost them both,” Connor laughs, hugging Sasha to him as they make their way behind us. The way he looks at her—it’s like she’s his entire universe. Utter love and devotion. A ping of jealousy shoots through my heart.
As much independence as I want in my life, I also want someone to look at me like that. My earlier question once again at the forefront of my mind.Was I really that happy? What would happen if I gave in to Hayden? I can’t deny that with his persistence, care, and attention, he has struck a chord in my heart. Playing me like a skilled harpist, he has plucked at my strings, removing my walls brick by brick, until finally, there’s just me. Alone and scared, but bared to him. His for the taking.
I don’t even know exactly when it happened, but Hayden was right. If I’m meant to be by anyone’s side—it’s his.
But am I ready?
During the whole drive to my apartment, I’m unable to stop myself from making a mental pros and cons list. What would happen if I said to hell with it all and just dove in head first?
“You’ve been distracted,” Sasha whispers as I pour her a glass of wine while Connor puts Skye to bed that evening.
“Is it that obvious?” I groan.
“What’s going on? Is it a guy?”
I groan again. “Maybe.”
“Natasha Marie Collins, are you saying you’ve finally decided to give love a go?”
“No!” I exclaim, then wince. I forgot about Skye. “No,” I repeat, a lot quieter. “What I mean is, there’s this guy. Hayden…”
“There always is,” Sasha grins.
I roll my eyes. “I don’t know, Sasha. He’s kind and caring, generous and filthy rich, and he says he wants me.”
“I don’t see a problem,” she raises an eyebrow at me. “And what about you?”
“Me?”
“What do you want? Do you want him?”
“I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth me wanting him.”
“Excuse me?”
“You know all the hassle of being in a relationship and everything.”
Sasha starts cackling. “The hassle? Babe, if it feels like a hassle, it’s not right. Does it feel like a hassle?”
I don’t even have to think about the answer. I know it as well as I know my own reflection. This thing between Hayden and I has always felt natural. I shake my head. “I’m scared.”
“And that’s okay. I was terrified with Connor.”
“What if it doesn’t work out? What if he leaves me? Just like mum did…”
“Oh, Tasha.” Sasha wraps her arms around me. “Mum dying wasn’t a choice. Besides, you can’t live scared of falling in love just because you’re worried they’ll leave you one day. Everyone leaves. One day I will too.”
“That doesn’t make me any less scared.” A lump forms in my throat.