CHAPTER 17
KARLY
The following weekend sneaks up quickly due to Eric working at the hospital and barely having time to sleep, let alone hang out.
I miss him, but until I talk to Hanna, maybe we should press pause for a minute. Because, even though it hurts to admit it, I could lose my best friend.
The thought urges me to text Hanna some lunch plans for Sunday, which she happily accepts. Not knowing how that conversation would turn out has my anxiety through the roof, and I swear I could flood the entire apartment building with tears. The only thing I can think about is every good time we’ve had over the years, every time we were there for each other, every silly fight we’ve ever had.
It’s scary, though, because I know Hanna like the back of my hand, and nothing I say can save me from the fallout of her finding this out. Eric, though, makes me feel safe and like if we face it together, we can do anything. At the very least, his cringe-worthy positivity makes me want to give it a shot. Sure I could bury the way I feel, push him away and keep my best friend, but I’d always wonder what if. That may be worse, honestly.
I skipped my workout this morning because the weather is shit. Sure I could’ve gone to the gym instead of my usual run, but that would’ve messed up my regular routine. So I would rather stay home than risk feeling anxious about anything.
My phone is lying face down on my bed, and the flashing light on the back indicates that it’s ringing, so I pick it up and smile when I see Eric’s name on the screen.
“Hey, you.”
“Hi,” he huffs, obviously exhausted.
“You sound so tired.”
“I am. I’m so freaking tired. Work was… well, work was work.”
I hate that he sounds so burned out. I try to lighten the mood.
“No hot nurses pull you into the storage closet for hot sex?”
He laughs, “No, but they are kinda treating me like I’m vending machine candy that gets stuck before it falls. They all walk by with puppy dog eyes like they feel sorry for me like I’m wasted potential or something.”
“Wait… what?” I laugh. “How did you just compare yourself to vending machine food?”
He blows a deep breath, “I don’t know. I guess they all thought that since I’m single now, they’d get to fuck me in the closet like you said.”
My thoughts turn into a tornado when he mentions getting involved with someone else, “Do you want them to?”
“No,” he booms, “No, of course not. Why do you want to be with someone else?”
“I wish,” I sigh, “It would make my life a whole lot easier.”
“Love isn’t hard,” he quips.
“I didn’t say love was hard. I said life was hard.”
He chuckles, “I won’t argue with that.”
The line goes eerily silent as we both think about how hard all of this actually is, so I decide to tell him about Hanna.
“I am meeting with Hanna on Sunday. I’m going to tell her everything.”
“Everything?” He questions.
“I’m going to start by telling her I have feelings.”
I can basically picture his shit-eating grin in my head, “You catching feelings for me, Jolene?”
“Shut up,” I snap. “I’m trying to be serious here.”
“I know. Is that all you are going to say? Not going to offer up the fact that I’ve lived between your thighs for a month?”