An older gentleman looked at them as well, but when they heard her enter, they turned toward her. When his eyes caught hers, the shift in him was noticeable.
“Matt, can you excuse us, please?”
“Sure thing, boss.” The older man nodded at her in acknowledgment and slipped passed her and out the trailer.
Once the door was shut, neither of them said anything. He averted his gaze and went back to looking at the blueprints.
She sighed and walked the few feet it took to get to him. The interior of the trailer was what she expected: messy, papers scattered everywhere, and dirty.
“I know you’ve been ignoring my calls.” He didn’t respond, but his jaw clenched at her words. “I want to talk about what happened yesterday.”
He lifted his head and speared her with an icy glare. “I don’t want to talk about this, Sasha.” He turned and stared out the window that faced the construction site.
“I understand why you feel like you’ve been betrayed, but none of this was intentional. No one did anything behind your back with the intent to upset you. You’re my big brother, but I’m in love with Tanner and Jonas. Have been for years, Rian. And I want them in my life. I want you to be okay with it, but if you’re not…” She let that hang between them.
He lowered his head and exhaled. When he turned, he didn’t seem so distant. Maybe he did understand where she was coming from?
“You have to understand it from my standpoint, Sasha. They are my best friends, and you’re my baby sister.” He sat down and leaned his head back against the chair. “My little sister is sleeping with not one but both of them.” He speared his hands in his hair and closed his eyes. “It sounds so screwed up.”
She thought he might say something else, but when he just stared at the ceiling, she moved closer to him. “I’m in love with them, Rian.” Maybe if he heard it enough times he would understand? “Look at me.” She kept her voice pitched low. He lifted his head and looked at her. “I love them, and they love me.”
He didn’t blink, and she didn’t think he breathed either. “How long has this been going on?”
She sat in the seat in front of him and stared at the table. The blueprints in front of her were like reading German. The white lines swirled and arched, making the design of the building, but it looked so foreign to her.
“I knew I loved them since I was twelve.” She looked at him and was thankful he was still calm because what she was about to tell him would surely piss him off. “I lost my virginity to Tanner at my graduation party.” She held her breath and waited for the inevitable explosion of anger from him.
He stared at her then looked back at the ceiling as if deep in thought.
“It was when I found you two outside by the side of the house.”
She didn’t interrupt because she could tell he was talking to himself since he didn’t phrase it as a question.
When he looked at her again, she was shocked that there was no disappointment or anger in his expression. “I talked to Tanner and Jonas last night.”
That had her eyes widening. “What? Really?”
“Yeah. They came over wanting to talk. Next thing I know, it’s two in the morning and my kitchen table is covered in beer bottles.” The sounds of construction right outside the trailer filled the void of silence. “They told me how much they care for you. How they would do anything for you.”
He shook his head and looked down at the table.
“I came so close to kicking their asses again, but the way they spoke about you, and the things they said...”
She hadn’t talked to them yet today, so all of this came as a surprise.
“They love you like nothing else I have ever seen. I was shocked, hurt, and upset because all I could see was my best friends fucking with my little sister. I just felt betrayed in a way because I thought it had been going on far longer and felt as though the three people I care about the most couldn’t even tell me about it.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed. “As much as I am pissed that you never told me how you felt and what happened, I can understand why you didn’t. You avoiding home makes sense now.”
To her surprise, he reached across the table and took her hand in his.
“I want you to be happy. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I don’t want to be the reason you don’t find the happiness you deserve.”
Tears threatened to make an appearance at her brother’s words. She had thought she would have had to fight him tooth and nail about being with Tanner and Jonas. In the end, it would have been her choice, but she couldn’t stand any kind of turmoil with her brother.
“I know you don’t need my permission on who you are with, but I want you to know that I won’t stand in your way, even if the thought of you with both of them still seems so crazy. You’re my sister, I love you, and you live your life however makes you happy.”
He gave her hand a squeeze, and she let her tears fall. It seemed since coming back to Hayven Hill that was all she had been doing. Rian was out of his chair and around the table in seconds.
He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. “I’m sorry I went all Rambo yesterday. Taking my anger out on Tanner and Jonas and having you there to watch is something I’ll always regret.” He leaned back and tilted her head up with his hands on her cheeks. “Can you forgive me for being such an asshole?”