Amelia took a deep breath, steadying herself, preparing. “I hope so.”
Chapter 37
Amelia
Iwalked to the end of the driveway and then back, pacing as I waited for my father. It had been over half an hour, and I kept checking my watch as if looking at it would allay all my fears and worries.
It didn’t.
When my dad finally pulled up to Nathaniel’s house, I was shocked. Part of me had thought–or maybe hoped–that he wouldn’t show up. That he had reconsidered, and the painful confrontation I feared would be postponed.
Dad climbed out of his car looking drawn and tired, with obvious dark circles underneath his eyes. I had seen that look before when he would return home with jet lag. He must have been losing sleep over this, just like me.
When he walked up to me, I had to fight my instinct to hug him. It was what I would have done any other time, but now, things were different. Awkward. It felt like there was so much space between us now, and I couldn't reach for him the way I used to.
He cleared his throat. “Can we speak privately? I know your sisters and… well, I know everyone’s here. But I’d like to talk, just the two of us. If that’s alright with you.”
“Yes,” I said, hoping he couldn’t hear the frayed nerves in the tone of my voice. “Nathaniel is inside with Melinda and Larissa. We can stay out here.”
He nodded, and looked off to the side, playing with his car keys. Then his gaze returned to me, with a pleading expression on his face. “Amelia, honey… I owe you an apology. My behavior was abhorrent, and I need to be accountable for that. I lost my temper, but I should never have allowed anger to get the better of me. The violent behavior I displayed was inexcusable.” He inhaled a heavy breath, pursed his lips for a moment, then continued. “And I’m sorry for hurting Nathaniel. But more than anything, I’m sorry for scaring my baby girl.”
My eyes welled up with tears. Hearing him call me that name made my heart thump.
“I miss you, kiddo. Very much. I love you more than anything in the world, and even though I still wish things were different, I don’t want to lose you, or my future grandchild. I want a chance to make things right, to be there for you and to support you. Will you give me that chance, Amelia?”
Relief washed over me, and I nodded up and down emphatically as my chin wobbled and the tears began to trickle down my cheeks. The pain I had been feeling from being estranged from my dad had felt like a heavy weight on my chest, and that oppressive feeling was lifting with every word he spoke.
“Of course!” The hug I had been hesitant to give him before now came second nature. I curled into my dad’s strong embrace, feeling the safety and security a hug from him had always provided. His bushy beard scratched my forehead as he squeezed me tight, comforting me while I cried into his shoulder. I heard him sniffling, too, and realized how seldom I had heard my father cry growing up.
“Dad, where’s Mom?”
He stammered for a moment, before saying, “Your mother still needs some more time. Let’s be patient with her, OK? She’ll get used to the idea soon, I’m sure.”
He didn’tsoundsure, but I nodded anyway, agreeing to give my mother the space she needed, trusting that my father knew her better than I did.
“Do you want to come inside now?” I asked, looking up at his twinkling eyes framed by the faintest crow’s feet. “That is, if you’re comfortable?”
He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Yes. For you, I will.”
We walked into the house together to find Melinda, Larissa, and Nathaniel waiting in the living room. My sisters were sitting on the couch, and he was leaning against the back of it, arms folded. When my father and I walked in, Nathaniel stood up straight, uncrossing his arms, locking eyes with my dad.
My father walked up to him. “I’ve apologized to Amelia, and I owe you an apology, too. There was no excuse for what I did. I’m sorry, Nathaniel.”
Nathaniel swallowed, his expression subdued. “It’s forgotten.”
My dad went on. “Look, I’ll be straight with you, not just because of Amelia, but because you’ve been my best friend for years. I am still angry with you. But this is clearly out of my hands, and I’m not going to let my discomfort with the situation cost me my relationship with my daughter. I might not be quite the same as before, but I would like to move forward. If you’re willing to do that too, I’m ready.”
He extended his hand. Nathaniel took it, nodding. Their handshake didn’t look friendly, or pleasant, and it didn’t last long. The tension between them remained, but a tentative peace seemed possible.
When my father pulled his hand away, he stepped to the side and put his hands in his pockets, breaking eye contact. Nathaniel crossed his arms again, keeping them folded while he, too, looked away.
They both looked uncomfortable, but I was feeling more upbeat than I had in weeks. “Thank you, Dad,” I said, stepping up to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I hope you know that I’m happy. Really happy.” I needed my father to see just how important Nathaniel was to me.
“That’s the only thing that matters to me,” he said. “Your happiness.”
I smiled, touched by his earnest expression. “I have more news, too. Nathaniel and I are getting married.” I bit my lower lip in anticipation of his reaction. Part of me was nervous; another part hoped he would still simply be pleased to see me so happy.
Instead, he looked like he had just swallowed a chicken bone, but he managed to speak. “Congratulations,” he said through clenched teeth, still avoiding eye contact with Nathaniel. An uneasy silence settled in.