It was what she wanted. I had to respect her wishes.
Except she was having my baby.My baby, the baby we had made out of passion and electric instinct so strong neither of us could deny it. I wanted to help her, to stay with her and support her, to be a father to our baby, all while she was telling me to forget about it and leave her alone.
I had to find a way to convince her that I could be involved, that me being a father to our child was important and that it would work despite her worries about her father. I wasn’t sure how to get her to see that just yet, but I planned to keep trying to find a way.
In the past, I had always been able to count on David when I needed help. In any type of crisis, David had been there for me; when my parents died, he was the one friend I turned to. The friend who listened while I told him how lonely I felt now that they were gone. The person who sat with me in silence when I had nothing left to explain, when I just needed a friend to be there.
David was the man who had helped me start out on a new path in life, one that would hold enormous success and give me a new sense of purpose and place in the world. He had given me so much, and been there for me whenever I needed him, he’d become the father I lost, the brother I never had, the best friend I could pick up the phone and call whenever I needed guidance or a sympathetic ear.
Now, that was impossible. David was no longer my confidante, and he would soon become the grandfather of my child without knowing it–a child whose life I was being shut out from before it even started.
I was supposed to meet an important client, but I rescheduled. It was the first time I had canceled on a client in almost ten years of working in real estate. I knew I wouldn’t be able to focus; hell, I could barely drag myself into the shower when I woke up. Everything looked bleaker and grayer now, and I had no idea how to live in this new reality.
A reality without Amelia.
All day, I resisted the impulse to reach out to her, to ask her to meet with me or just talk on the phone, to beg her to reconsider her plan. Each time I picked up the phone, I hesitated, replaying in my head what she had said to me last night.I’ve made up my mind, Nathaniel.
She hadn’t wavered. She was steadfast, resolute in her decision.
When I finally managed to get out of bed, it was already noon. I glanced at a few emails in my home office but couldn’t concentrate. Sitting behind my glass desk and staring out at the waves, all I could think about was Amelia and how much she meant to me. How much I would be missing out on, if she went through with this all by herself, without me by her side. Protecting her. Caring for her, and for our baby.
My phone rang, interrupting my sad reverie, and my heart skipped a beat thinking maybe Amelia had changed her mind. Maybe she hadn’t been as resolved as I’d thought last night; I could have sworn I sensed a shimmer of doubt in her voice when she had told me her decision.
Instead, it was a number I didn’t recognize. I picked up, if for no other reason than I was feeling a little guilty for ignoring my work and canceling on my client.
“Nathaniel Dean,” I said, my tone flat and disinterested.
“Nathaniel, it’s Melinda Weaver.”
I straightened my spine. “Hi, Melinda.” I had never spoken to her over the phone before. I really didn’t know David’s other two girls that well.
“I’d like to meet with you,” she said. “If you’re open to it.”
I expected she wanted to read me the riot act. By now, Amelia had probably told her sisters that she was pregnant, and my best guess was that Melinda had learned I was the father.
Still, if that’s what she wanted to do, I would take it. Maybe it would serve as practice for the day when David would inevitably find out about everything, too.
“Yes, of course, I’ll meet with you. When and where?”
– – –
It took me over an hour to get into downtown San Diego, far longer than it should have, but there was some damned holiday festival jamming up traffic and creating a living nightmare on the freeway. By the time I found a parking spot near the cafe where I was supposed to meet Melinda, I was in danger of being late, but fortunately I arrived before Melinda and took a spot in a quiet corner booth so we could talk without being disturbed.
I ordered a quart of sparkling water and two glasses and waited for her.
When Melinda walked in, she was wearing asweater and jeans. The weather had turned colder again, with a spell of rain ahead following the brief sunny stint we had enjoyed the previous week.
Melinda came over and sat next to me. I nodded politely, greeting her, and she responded in kind. She took a deep breath, fidgeting a little with her purse, then taking a sip of her Pellegrino. She seemed flustered, on edge, and I braced myself for what I imagined must be an onslaught of anger at me now that she clearly knew about my relationship with her sister.
“Look,” she said, taking a sharp breath and exhaling heavily. “I’m here for my sister. Not for you. I barely know you; I don’t owe you anything, and I’m also not here to berate you if that’s what you’re expecting.”
“OK…” I wasn’t sure what to think. If she didn’t want to meet me to give me a piece of her mind, what was this about?
“I know Amelia ended things with you, and she’s an adult who can think for herself and make her own decisions. But I also know that this decision is breaking her heart, and it’s not what she truly wants deep down.” Melinda was mature and serious, but she had a kindness to her eyes as she spoke. “I watched her agonize over the news when she learned she was pregnant, and when Larissa and I found out you were the father, we understood why she was so tormented. Her decision to end your relationship and shut you out was her way of trying to keep anyone from getting hurt. Like my father. And you.”
My heart felt lighter, daring to hope. “She loves your father so much,” I said. “It’s obvious why; he’s my best friend, after all. David is a wonderful man and a loving father. I know he’d understand, eventually. Even if he didn’t, I would still support Amelia. I’d give it all up for her.”
“I know you would. I can tell how much she means to you,” she said, folding and unfolding her napkin. “Listen, Amelia wants to be with you, Nathaniel. I know she does. She wants you to be the father of her baby, to be there for her and the child. She has been despondent all day since I got to the apartment, and I know my sister. She’s miserable. She feels awful for choosing to end things with you and I know she regrets it, but Amelia is in way over her head and doesn’t know what to do, and she figures this is the only way forward. I know you care for her. I could tell by the way she talked about you when she told us what was going on.”