“Old enough that she should know better than to date me.”
“Then why do you think she still wants to date you?”
That was the question that kept stumping Bridget. Why would Jerica want to date her? Why would she push to be in a relationship when Bridget came with so much baggage and detriment that any relationship she had was doomed before it even started? Her family would never accept a girlfriend, or God forbid, a wife. She’d be ostracized from them, tossed out to the curb on her own in a way that no one could come back from it. How was she supposed to be in a relationship with a woman when she ran for Sheriff next? Surely that would screw her chances over.
“Bridge?”
“What?” The bite in her tone was not wholly unexpected, but Bridget did regret it.
“I like her for you. I think she’s a good match, and I think she pushes you in ways I never could.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
Eli sighed and rubbed her hand against her thigh in a nervous gesture. “I don’t know how to explain it. Can you just trust me on it?”
“No.”
“Fine.” Eli’s tone was sharp. “Just forget it then.”
Guilt swam in Bridget’s belly again, and she stopped. She really should listen and see what Eli was trying to tell her. Never once had Eli tried to steer her in the wrong direction. She had, but it was never on purpose. “No, I’m sorry, tell me.”
Eli didn’t move, and they sat in silence for what felt like minutes before Eli finally spoke again. “I never challenged you. We just always were, and I think Jerica challenges you in a way that you need.”
“I need?”
“Yeah.” They fell into a soft silence again, Eli breaking it once more. “You need to decide what you’re willing to give up in order to gain love. That was something I could never convince you of, but I really hope Jerica can and that you’re in a different place now than you were when we were together.”
“I…I would have given everything to have you.”
Eli shook her head, and Bridget pushed herself to sit up.
“I would have—”
“You wouldn’t. You didn’t. And I don’t blame you for that, Bridget. Not anymore, but at some point, if you want to have more than a fling here and there, you are going to have to find a way to give up certain things for someone else, and that may include your family.”
Bridget shook her head. “How do I give up my family?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never had to do it, but I think you need to remember that you have more family than you might realize, and that this town is your family. I am your family. I will always come when you call for help. Don’t you know that by now?”
“I guess I do.”
“Do you trust it?” Eli gave her a hard but sincere look, earnestly searching for the truth in Bridget’s words.
Bridget paused before she answered, wanting to make sure that the response she gave was as truthful and as honest as she could make it. “I do. I do trust you.”
“Good. That’s a good step. Now, find at least one more person to trust, because we’re not as scary as you may think we are. And there are more people here who love you than you know.”
Eli didn’t wait for an answer as she slipped out of the bed and Bridget’s room, leaving the light on as she went. She shut the door, casting Bridget into silence. The conversation wasn’t an easy one, and it didn’t sit well with her. She wanted to follow Eli, to ask her more questions and push her for more answers, but at the same time, Bridget knew Eli wouldn’t do it. She’d given her advice, she’d given her words of wisdom, and then she left, like she always did.
Loneliness seeped its way into her heart, and she struggled to wrap it up and bundle back where it came from. Perhaps Eli was right and it wouldn’t be as bad a falling out as she thought it would. Still, she couldn’t understand what it would mean to cut her parents off, her siblings. She’d spent so much of her life trying to get their approval, and to just not seek it anymore?Was that even possible?
Gripping her phone, she checked on the message from Jerica, finally having the brainpower to read it. Her stomach dropped at the words, not because it was unexpected but because she still didn’t have an answer to the questions she couldn’t stop asking.
Did she want to see Jerica again? Did she want to potentially fall in love and risk her family and her career for a woman she barely knew? Did she want another date?
Because Jerica certainly did.
CHAPTER10