Another vehicle drove by, breaking the silence and Violet’s thoughts. The rain was even closer now, the thunder rumbling so loud that it echoed in her chest. They weren’t going to be able to stay out there much longer unless they were going to stand in the rain and hail. Still, Violet didn’t move to put her camera away. She reset photo after photo in the quiet, showing Lando the photos as she took them.
They found a balance. Perhaps this was the apology both of them needed. Lando for leaving, but mostly Violet for everything that had happened while chasing. The anger, the fighting, the unsafe environment, the tension, the firing—all of it. Violet reached out and touched her fingers to Lando’s arm. Lando immediately loosed her hand from her pocket and Violet curled their hands together.
“I’m so sorry about everything, Lando. I should have protected you better.”
Lando’s brow furrowed. “You did protect me, but more than anything, I don’t think I’m the one who needed protection.”
“Why do you always seem to say exactly what I need to hear? Hmm?”
Lando’s lips blossomed into a smile. “I must be really good at listening to what isn’t said.”
“I suppose you are.” Violet squeezed Lando’s hand and went to move, but Lando held on firmly. Looking into Lando’s pale blue eyes, Violet waited for an explanation.
“I don’t blame you for anything. I hope you know that. There were decisions you could have made that would have bettered everything, yes, but the same goes for me. We’re both not without mistakes, but don’t let those mistakes take you down. You deserve better than that.”
The weight in Violet’s chest lightened. She hadn’t known how much she needed to hear that. She hadn’t even realized just how much tension she held within her, for years. Not everything was her fault, but some of it was. Violet nodded and stepped in closer to Lando, their warm fingers still pressed tightly together. She forgot about the camera, about the storm coming in as she moved.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my twenty-three years, which sounds so odd to say.”
“You’ve lived a lot of life in those years,” Violet commented, shifting in closer.
“Yeah, I have. I don’t like to think about it.”
“I don’t suppose anyone would.”
Lando turned her chin, raising it up so their gazes met. “Exactly, but if there is anything that I have learned, it’s that life is short, life sucks, and if we want it to be good, if we want it to be better, then we’re the ones who have to do the hard work. The good things in life aren’t just handed to us.”
“Sometimes they are.” Violet smiled, thinking that one of the last few things Diane had done, probably to piss her off, had been for the best. Inviting Lando to join them in chasing had changed so much in Violet’s life, and she didn’t want to let that go by. At Lando’s confused gaze, Violet elaborated. “When Diane hired you, I’m pretty sure it was to piss me off.”
Lando laughed. “No doubt of that.”
“I’d told her not to hire you.”
“Why?” Confused, Lando shook her head. “You never explained why you didn’t want me to go chasing with you.”
“Right.” Violet dashed her tongue against her lips. “I don’t think I knew why.”
“How do you not know?”
“Because unlike you, Lando, I’m not very good at figuring out what I’m feeling and when. I go with my emotions a lot of the time because it’s easier than resisting, but when asked exactly what I’m doing and why, I can’t give a concise answer. At least, not usually for a good chunk of time until I’ve had a few weeks or months or years even to dissect it all.”
Lando scrunched her nose. “What are you even talking about?”
“Diane saw something in my office that day that I did not see. Not until the other night when we were on the porch swing. Actually, to be fair, it was that morning.”
“That morning?”
Violet nodded and gave Lando’s fingers a tight squeeze for emphasis. “When I woke up and you were still holding my hand.”
Lando reached up with her hand and scratched the back of her head. “I’m still confused.”
“I know you are.” Violet tugged Lando’s hand slightly. “Diane is very good at observation and figuring out what makes people tick. She has always been good at that. When we were growing up, she used it to her advantage even then, played her parents against each other, played teachers against each other. She made the world bend to her will, and she did that solely through reading people.”
“How manipulative.”
Violet shrugged. She didn’t really care why Diane did it. It was more a fact—that was who Diane was and always would be—but Violet was finally untangling herself from that web. She’d cut herself out, and she firmly wanted to be somewhere else, with someone else. “Lando?”
Lando raised her chin up, their eyes locking.