“It was,” Lando answered. “Did you have a good time with Diane?”
“You know, we did.” Violet’s lips twitched.
Lando wasn’t sure where to go from there. She didn’t want to pry into Violet’s life any more than she already had, didn’t want to push the boundary lines, and it was also one in the freaking morning. She wanted to go back to sleep, although she wasn’t sure she’d be able to with Violet right next to her, warming the bed, taking up space. Shifting down so her head was on the pillow, Lando turned and watched as Violet did the same. They stared at each other, the silence deafening.
“If only every day could be like today,” Violet whispered.
“I think this is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen you.”
“Relaxed?” Violet wrinkled her nose. “I thought you were going to die a dozen times over.”
“You’re kidding me.” Lando’s eyes widened.
“I’m not.” Violet lips parted. “I’ve seen it happen, you know. People vanish because of tornados. The damage from vehicles taken up in the wind and spit out somewhere else. The broken bodies.”
Her voice broke on that last part. Lando reached out and gripped Violet’s fingers tightly, squeezing them. If Violet had been there the day her mother died, then she’d seen her fair share of death and destruction.
“They’re not here now,” Lando whispered.
Violet nodded. “I know.”
“Then don’t get lost in the memories.”
“I won’t,” Violet whispered. They stayed quiet for some time, Lando’s hand not moving from Violet’s wrist. “Were you all right tonight? With all the drinking?”
“Fine.” Lando’s reply was curt.
“I’ll try to keep it to a minimum.”
Lando shrugged. It was something she had worked on getting used to in the past two years, but it still wasn’t easy some days, especially when she was the only one sober and seemed to be the only one aware. Violet had watched her carefully, and that same scrutiny, while helpful, was also frustrating. She didn’t like to be watched as though she was going to break.
“Did you always want to chase?” Lando asked, trying to change the topic.
“Yes,” Violet answered. “But I don’t think I realized the toll it would take on my life.”
“What do you mean?”
Violet blew out a breath. “It’s not easy to be in a relationship with someone when you’re gone half the year, or so obsessed with something you can’t stop thinking about it.”
Lando wondered if she was talking about the storms or Diane, but she didn’t dare ask that question. “Sounds like you just haven’t found the right person.”
Violet shrugged. “I gave up looking.”
“That’s sad.”
“It’s a choice. I’ve had my fair share of breakups because of it. I decided perhaps a relationship just wasn’t the thing for me.”
Lando squeezed Violet’s fingers again, trying to shower her with support and comfort all at the same time. “I’d like to get married someday, you know. But I have so much baggage.”
“Everyone does, Lando. The hard part is finding someone who will stand with you when that trauma comes back to bite you in the ass.” Again that sad final tone was back. Lando wanted to wipe it away, but she wasn’t sure Violet would let her.
With no idea how to respond to that last statement, Lando closed her eyes. The exhaustion that had been fleeting when Violet had come in was back, and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She wanted to stay awake, to talk to Violet, this vulnerable person who had shown up instead of the one so built-over with walls that Lando didn’t even know where the door was. Prying her eyelids open, Lando gave Violet a half-hearted smile.
“I wish you’d found someone like that.”
“Me too,” Violet answered. “But I’m pretty sure love isn’t for everyone.”
“Sure it is,” Lando countered. “Everyone is loved, even if it isn’t romantic.”