As soon as I was off of the bed, I stormed out to the patio and stared into the darkness. The cold air nipped at my skin and worked to distract me from the situation that had stared me in the face. As I stood out in the cool air, I made a plan. One where I didn’t have to say goodbye to Cassidy.
None of us would.
Because even if I had to share her, it was far better than saying goodbye.
31
CASSIDY
The bath this go around was more than amazing. It was nearly perfect. And yet, it was also a little bittersweet.
I felt every ounce of dust that musty cell had soaking out of my pores as I laid back and allowed my muscles to relax. The tension started to fade away and my mind started to wonder.
I thought about everything that had happened over the course of the day. Once everything was said and done, I had made the decision to go home. The men weren’t happy about it. But I had no choice. I had to figure out what to do with what was left of my life. Though they hated the idea of me leaving, they respected my reasons.
Now that I had no job, I had no idea what to do with myself. My job was my everything. My one constant that had kept me sane. Even through the hardest moments with Xander, I always looked forward to my students.
I huffed as worry started to fill me and pinch my muscles. I had no idea how I was going to keep my place and all my things much less where I was going to go for another job.
My heart palpitated as tears fell down my cheeks. And after several moments, I tried to take several deep breaths to help calm myself down. This wasn’t how I wanted to spend my last night of vacation. Besides, the more I tried to focus on figuring everything out, the more stressed I was and the less helpful my bubble bath was ending up.
I closed my eyes and sighed, leaning back into the water, and letting my body relax and float.
I controlled my breathing, feeling the water surround me and listening to the bubbles pop and fizz. I paid attention to the temperature of the air as it entered my nose, and then as it left my lips when I breathed out.
It wasn’t long before my men entered my mind.
I sucked in a breath.
That was the first time I had referred to Dallas, Malachi, and Steele as my men. As I considered the words, I realized they felt right. The words and the men.
But was I finally ready for a relationship? I knew for the longest time Xander had hidden within the shadows, waiting, biding his time to make another move. And so long as he was around, I couldn’t allow myself to have another relationship. Even if I did want one.
Hell, for the longest time after him I never wanted to see myself in a relationship ever again. Things with Xander were that horrible. There was no way I wanted a repeat of what I had with him.
But now that he was out of the picture?
I still was opposed to a relationship, but the men had slowly knocked down my walls. They had poked hole after hole into my logic. They were the ones who helped dictate the arguments with myself when I was alone, which wasn’t very often.
And thinking about the time I had with them, I couldn’t deny that I loved having them around. Each one of them made me feel special in different ways and I wasn’t sure if I could continue with any plan without each of them
Malachi? Not only was he fiercely protective over me, but he made me see the importance and value within myself. He taught me not to hide who I was and to cater to my desires. I honored myself because of him, and I would continue to do so.
Dallas was funny. He had a way of making me laugh and seeing the toughest situations through with even the smallest chuckle. Though he was playful at heart, he also had a serious side that was equally as fierce as Malachi’s.
And Steele… he was incredibly intelligent. He saw deeper meanings in things, and he never looked down on people of lesser intelligence. He helped me understand the world in a different way.
They were all three incredible lovers and attentive. They all three had a way of staring at me and making me weak in the knees. They all three had stolen my breath and my heart. And they all worked together to help free them from their boss’s insane grip and took me out from under my ex-boyfriend’s thumb.
So, yeah… maybe I was ready for a relationship. Which brought me to the toughest question of all.
Could I pick just one?
My heart pounded once. A single heartbeat. That was my answer. Simply put: No, I couldn’t pick just one of them. Not after everything we had gone through. I fell for each one of them. Equally.
Easy peasy? Not so much.
Because this is where my next problem came in.