She leaned against the side of her car, crossed her arms over her chest, and sighed. She stared at a spot on the ground wordlessly for what felt like several minutes. I sucked in a breath and held it. I knew better than to hope she was considering my words, but I couldn’t help it. I was a glutton for punishment, and I was a fool that had fallen head over heels for her.
After a couple of minutes spent standing in the snow and the cold, she said, “Sure. That would be nice. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” I said and smiled. On the inside, I could have done summersaults. On the outside, I kept it cool.
Those words were the most she had said to me in a week. But I wasn’t about to believe her politeness was a sign of things improving between us. I knew better than to let my hopes raise too high. Otherwise, the proverbial crash to the ground would be one hell of a painful fall.
Still, I didn’t want to waste time and climbed into my truck and got the engine started. Within the span of about five more minutes, I backed out and gave Cadence enough room to pull out in front of me.
As soon as she was in front of me and driving down the narrow dirt road, I pulled off behind her. All the while, I committed the back of her head to memory. The whole moment, really. The way her eyes took me in from the review mirror. The way her heater blew so hard her hair danced around her shoulders. This was probably the last time I would ever see her again, and that had my heart breaking. My animal curled around himself to ward off the pain, not that it helped much.
But there was nothing I could do. She had made up her mind.
Before I registered what was going on, we were pulling into the parking lot of the gas station. Cassidy was already waiting for me. She stood against the trunk of her car with her arms crossed over her chest. She smiled as we pulled in. Of all the things that would have worked to push Cadence further away from me, it was Cassidy, doing what she did best. Because I didn’t have to guess to know it didn’t look good to Cadence. She was smart, and she would put two and two together. Expecting anything else was useless.
And so long as things served her negative perception, nothing else could be expected.
I had no control over what Cadence thought or believed, at the end of the day. And the way she glared at me when she climbed out of her car before walking inside was like a knife to my heart.
And instead of making things better, I had made things worse once again.
Two steps forward and three-hundred steps backward.
It no longer mattered. Cadence was as good as gone. The only thing I had left to do was keep on taking things one day at a time. Starting with getting the things I needed from Cassidy.
So I parked and then climbed out of my truck as Cassidy approached me, carrying with her a giant duffle bag full of all the things I had asked for her to grab. I met her at the halfway point between our two vehicles.
She held out the duffle bag for me. I took it.
“Thank you,” I said. “I really appreciate this.”
“No problem,” she said and leaned in for a hug. When we pulled apart, she smiled. “Any progress or changes?”
I shook my head. “Nothing to report.”
She frowned and nodded. “Ah, well. No news is good news.”
I snorted and nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
She shoved her hands into her front pockets and chuckled. “Go. I’ll take it from here.”
I nodded as my chest continued to fill with so much pain it was hard to breathe. I could barely move, and it took everything inside me to keep my feet going. It was so hard to walk away. Especially since I knew this might have been the last time I would ever see my mate again.
While Cassidy headed inside the store, I climbed back into my truck, tossing the duffle bag to the other side of the seat. My truck engine roared to life, and I pulled out of the parking lot of the gas station. I hoped Cassidy had the words I couldn’t come up with. I hope she had the ability to convince Cadence when I couldn’t. Most of all, I hoped that she could change Cadence’s mind. I hoped Cadence would believe Cassidy because she couldn’t believe me.
More pain took a seat in my chest, refusing to let up. Nothing would rid me of it. No pill or remedy existed for what was wrong with me. The only remedy was Cadence. Only she could remove the pain.
My vision blurred as the pain deepened and a tear slid down my cheek. The only thing that would keep me from falling apart was to shift and run. It was something I couldn’t avoid if I wanted to survive past the day.
I needed to spend some time out in nature. I needed to shift, and I desperately needed to run.
Then I pulled in front of the cabin and parked. The empty cabin. The cold cabin. The place was void of her warmth and presence. The place that lacked the life and color it once had. The whole image was startling and zapped the air from my lungs.
I climbed out of my truck and took off in a run. As I moved, I shifted. Maybe if I ran long enough, the absence of my mate wouldn’t hurt so much.
17
CADENCE