“For you and your mate… any time,” she said.
15
CADENCE
One week passed agonizingly slowly. It had been one of the longest weeks I ever had to live through. And despite everything, there was a silver lining to the dark and stormy clouds—both figuratively and literally—that had filled my life as of late. That was the snow had finally melted enough for me to safely head home.
I could finally go home and put this whole nightmare behind me.
Right on time, too. Any longer and I might have lost my mind. I wasn’t sure what was worse… the being stuck with Guy and trying to avoid him at all costs, or the sheer boredom that came with keeping myself isolated for so long.
I was looking forward to going home and taking a shower in my own tub and wearing my own clothes. I seriously considered burning the clothes I had worn the initial day I came to the cabin and had worn a number of times over the course of the week.
Once I was home and settled, I was going to treat myself to a gallon of ice cream. From there, I planned to reach out to my boss and salvage what job I may or may not still have. I had no way of contacting him since the storm and my limited phone battery, and I wasn’t about to interact with Guy any more than necessary in order to borrow his solar charger.
Not that I wasn’t willing to keep things civil, because I had. But I wasn’t forgiving and forgetting a damn thing any time soon.
During the moments where I was inevitably forced to bump into him, particularly for bathroom breaks or food, I would exchange a casual glance with him and nod whenever he said hello to me. That was it. I wouldn’t even go as far as to say I was friendly, because that wasn’t it. Not by a long shot. Especially not after everything that happened between us.
Hell, given half a mind to what had happened, and he was damn lucky I had acknowledged him half the time, to begin with.
None of that mattered anymore.
Now that I could go home, I was finally able to shift my focus and put attention on getting myself and my life back on track. Well, anything I could do to regain some normal resemblance of what my life was like before Guy, the better I would be… in time.
As I gathered up what little belongings I had with me at the cabin, I thought about the plan I had spent nearly the entire week forming. I decided that the only way to fully move on and get over what happened between me and Guy was by coming up with a plan with step by step instructions.
Getting home was step one. Almost check.
Throwing myself into work was step two. That will be tackled once I get in contact with my boss, which will happen after I’m home and had some time to be in my element. But it definitely would happen today.
Step three? Buying myself a peppermint mocha every week. Twice on the weeks I thought of him.
Maybe getting a cat would be one of the subsequent steps, but I wasn’t sure I could handle taking care of another creature. Not immediately, at least. My focus needed to be on me and getting myself back to where I was before Guy wrecked my world.
The point was if I continued to keep my focus on my steps and the things that I need to take care of, it wouldn’t take long before Guy was nothing more than a mistake I could barely remember making.
A pang stabbed at my heart. And as I stared out the window of my brother’s bedroom, I frowned. My heart sank, and tears nipped my eyes. A deep breath later and I was sobbing… again.
Who in the hell was I kidding? I certainly wasn’t anywhere close to convincing myself, regardless of how much I lied about it. Though I tried to convince myself the most because there wasn’t another person in the world who would buy my story. Why would they when I didn’t fully buy into it? Anyone who might want to listen to my story would be able to see right through me almost instantly.
But it was still the story I told myself and one I clung to and the one I would share.
Never mind the more I tried to convince myself, the more things stared me in the face, and I had to confront the truth of it all… and that was things between me and Guy had seriously tore me up. I wasn’t sure who to believe anymore. And that made me feel betrayed not only by Guy but myself as well.
And it didn’t help matters that Guy was so damn selfless.
Over the past week, Guy had gone above and beyond to smooth things over with me and try to get me to listen to him. All the times he tried to talk to me, practically begging me to give him a chance, I had stubbornly refused to listen. He also went out of his way to make sure I ate by leaving the food on the other side of the door for me. Every. Single. Day. He even snuck extra blankets into the room when I was in the bathroom during one of the colder nights…
And the hot tea and coffee… hottie totties.
I wanted to give in to him. So many times, I wanted to give him the chance he had practically begged me for. But each time I almost gave in, I reminded myself of what he had done and why I could never, ever forgive him or give him a second chance.
I needed to stay strong. Stick to my guns and stay the course.
My stomach clenched. Nausea created a sour taste in my mouth. I covered my mouth with my hand and ran to the bathroom. I barely made it before I was emptying my stomach’s contents into the toilet. And when I was done, I stayed bent over the bowl, closing my eyes against the near-constant waves of nausea that washed over me.
I wondered if maybe I had gotten sick, but that didn’t make sense. I would have started showing symptoms before now. And what I felt was a different type of nausea. It came fast and without warning.