“Thanks for nothing,” I grumbled.
“Hey, you are a smart, capable woman. You’ll figure it out,” he said.
“Okay, but what if I don’t?” I asked.
“You will,” he promised. “I’ve gotta go. Love you.”
“Love you too,” I said as the call ended. I dropped the phone to my lap and stared at the wall some more. Maybe I was too close to this to think about it clearly. I was going to have to wait until after I was home. That would be the only time I figured I could get some distance.
14
GUY
A few minutes after Cadence had stormed back inside, I stepped into the living room and took a seat on the couch. With a sigh, I leaned forward and held my head in my hands. “What the hell are you going to do now, Guy?”
Confusion didn’t come anywhere close to what I was going through. There was more. So much more.
My heart felt like it was breaking, shattering little by little, and the tiny pieces—the shards of my heart—that broke away dissolved into dust. It was hard to breathe. My lungs didn’t seem to want to work. And each time I took a breath in, the air seemed to become thicker and thicker.
Strangely, adding to my list of ailments, my hands ached. It was such a strange sensation to be faced with on top of everything else, but the feeling was undeniable. And I knew better than to believe the ache had anything to do with chopping wood the night before. Because they didn’t start this nonsense until things with Cadence blew up in my face.
My mind spun in circles as I tried to make sense of everything that happened.
I was angry with myself because, initially, I had figured Cadence would have gotten the wrong impression if she stumbled upon my conversation with Cassidy, but still I went through with the call anyway. I believed at the time she would give me the chance to provide her with any explanation she needed. But I had never been so wrong on something so horribly before. Because I didn’t stop to consider that she would take my conversation so roughly. And I highly doubted she wanted anything remotely resembling an explanation of what was really going on.
Maybe that was it? I wondered if I had just stumbled upon my issue. I didn’t think. At least, not about Cadence and her feelings… and certainly not beyond making her breakfast.
I was at a loss. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out what to do with myself or how to smooth out the situation between me and Cadence. I wasn’t sure if there even was a way to work things out.
I wasn’t exactly sure I was able to fully grasp what had happened to begin with. I realized she had overheard a part of the conversation I was having with Cassidy, but nothing I said should have given her the impression that Cassidy was my girlfriend. Even what she quoted didn’t make sense. I didn’t recall saying a thing to her remotely close to what she had repeated to me. At least, not in the context she had repeated them in.
Things had become so warped and messy.
With another sigh, I released my head and stared at the fire that was slowly dying. The flames were barely dancing along the charred log that sat in the center of the grate, almost completely turned to charcoal. I probably needed to get up and grab more wood, but I couldn’t make myself move. My legs were like cement or made from logs themselves. My body fought against every movement I tried to make. It was as though my body would have rather become a permanent fixture of the couch. Because facing a world without being able to look forward to Cadence… I almost couldn’t breathe. It was a feeling worse than death. My lungs didn’t want to work. My heart didn’t want to beat. My bear had pulled away from me, settling deeper inside my body. He didn’t want to come out. Not if it meant never having our mate with us again.
How could I find a way out of this? There had to be a way to reverse the damage that had been done and mend things between us.
All I wanted to do was turn back time and start the day over again. And instead of calling Cassidy, I would have only focused on making breakfast for Cadence. Maybe I would have put on some music. Something smooth and romantic. I probably would have served the food to her in bed, given her a long, lingering kiss, and never once have to live through the pain and uneasiness that was currently ripped through every nerve in my body, fraying them to shreds and tearing my heart apart.
And now, instead of enjoying breakfast and each other’s company, the food sat growing cold on the counter and stove, half-cooked and half put together. The thought of eating had my stomach churning. My mouth filled with the taste of ash.
This was hopeless.
Since time travel didn’t exist, I had no choice but to endure the horrible sensations coursing through me. Maybe someday I would mercifully earn a reprieve… but I doubted it.
The only other option I had was to figure out a way to reassure Cadence things weren’t what she thought they were. And short of Cassidy talking to her, I didn’t see a way to prove to her I wasn’t cheating.
But I couldn’t ask Cassidy to speak on my behalf. It wasn’t her issue. It wasn’t her place.
I groaned. “You fucked up big time, Guy.”
I shook my head as a hollow sensation filled my chest.
It occurred to me, at the moment, of all things, being stuck with the wrong person was close to agony. Not to say Cadence was the wrong person. Far from it. She was the right one. My mate. No. That wasn’t it.
I meant what I said about being with the wrong person, just like Weylan was when he was dealing with his ex-fling, Tabitha. She was the woman before Gemma. And boy was she the wrong one.
Weylan went through his own rough patch right before he and Gemma worked things out. Though I would never have wished this pain on him, I was sure he felt some of what I was going through. Hell, I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy.