There was an inward sigh before Philit took off too. ‘I’ll talk with him, Zilon, do not leave Rayna’s side.’
‘Of course.’
“I think this is as good a time as any to take a break. You need to rest too and replenish what you can of your magic before we get back to practice.” Faustus turned on his heels and stalked away, the crowd opening a path for him as he left.
There was a whoosh in the hot air, and then Zilon was before me, tugging on his clothes quickly. “Well, that went well, I think,” he said.
“You think so?” I asked, not really believing him.
“Better than I expected. At least Philit and I know how to keep you safe while we use our abilities. That’s huge for us.”
He wasn’t wrong; we did make a huge improvement today, even if Landers couldn’t quite pick it up. But I believed in him. He’d get it once he cooled down and actually thought about it. I knew for a fact Philit would get him there.
23
As soon as we got back to our room, I flopped on the bed, feeling exhausted. It hadn’t all settled in until we were walking back. At that point, I had to lean into Zilon as my legs felt like jelly. Zilon didn’t seem to mind as he tightly wrapped his arm around me and kept me pulled to his side, his wing stretched out in a protective way.
“Let me see if I can get us something to eat,” Zilon said.
“No.” I tugged on him until he was on the bed with me. “Let’s just lay here for a little bit.”
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“Just need a little rest, some time to think and process. It feels like we haven’t had that chance yet.”
“Yeah, I get what you mean,” Zilon said.
He moved us so that he was on his side with me tucked into his chest and my hand resting on his shoulder. One of his wings laid over us like a blanket. I traced the scales on his shoulder, feeling their hardness and sharpness but also the familiar heat from them, like each scale held their own fire.
“We never talked about it,” Zilon said.
“About what?”
“Us.” Zilon let out a chuckle, but there was no humor in it. “This bond. I can’t believe we’d been hurting you.”
“I’m fine.”
His grip tightened around me. “Maybe now you are, but if we’d kept on the way we were… I can’t think about it, think about losing you. It’s hard to even say out loud.”
“Zilon,” I said in a harder voice to make sure I had his attention. His emotions hurt as they hit me hard in the chest. His fear and anxiety. It felt like so much more than he was letting on. “I am fine.”
“That’s the funny thing though, right?” he asked, squeezing me tighter against his chest. “You’re fine, until you aren’t, and then where will you be? Dead? Without magic? Lost without a part of yourself? I can’t bear to see you suffering.”
“Where is all this coming from?” I asked, sensing there was more there, maybe even driving him to feel like he was shattering inside. I hoped Zilon wasn’t drowning in his guilt.
Zilon didn’t say anything.
“Zilon.” I pushed comfort to him through our bond, sensing he desperately needed it.
“I can’t bear to think that I nearly got you killed. That I was going to kill someone again.”
“Again?”
Again his silence, but his grip on me tightened, and there was a slight shake in his body.
“My little sister.” He shuddered; his words thick. “When I revealed… I lost her when I revealed. Couldn’t protect her. She died because of me, because ofwhatI am. Even now, I can still hear her screams because I was unable to stop them. To stop myself from hurting her.”
Slowly, his reaction began making sense.