The split among them is almost equal halves. Half in favor of the old ways and half unwilling to compromise their beliefs. That’s the half that hates me. I’ve become the symbol, for them, of all that is wrong with the world. I don’t know if they will ever accept me, but it doesn’t matter. I will do all I can to save them, each and every one.
I step around Dugald and slowly walk back to where I was when he stopped us. The weight of his eyes burns into my back. It’s all I can do to keep myself from turning and looking back before I reach Duncan. I pause in front of Duncan and study his face and his eyes. There is no questioning his sincerity or his love.
I wish this was happening differently. I want what I imagined before I returned. What I dreamed. Long days working in the Highlands and getting to know each other. Flirting. Chasing one another. Dancing. And only after a suitable time, when we really knew one another, a proposal.
It isn’t meant to be, and I’ve made my choice. For better or for worse. I step into the spot I was and place my hand back between Duncan’s. When I look over at Dugald he’s walking backwards, and the pain on his face raises doubts.
I open my mouth to stop him, but then Duncan’s grip on my hand tightens and everyone is shifting, waiting for me to answer.
“Yes,” I say quickly, before I can change my mind or give in to regrets. “Yes!”
Half the clan cheers. Dugald is gone and I don’t know if I’ll see him again.
ChapterTwenty
“We’ve a wedding to plan!”Aillig shouts.
The children join in the celebration and shout loudest of all, their high-pitched squeals rising above the dissenting noises made by the adults who have sided with Agnes. Watching the kids jump and shout, a sense of hope touches my heart. Their resilience is beautiful and incredible.
Here amid unimaginable horror they are capable of latching onto the joy of a moment and ignoring the terrors they have experienced. I become acutely aware of my own empty womb as the random thought of my own children crosses my mind.
What will my children look like? Boy or girl? One of each, that’s what I want. Will they be Fae touched too? I smile as I imagine them playing across the Highlands, running through the heather.
“This isn’t over,” Agnes threatens in a soft voice, shattering my daydream.
Duncan has been pulled away by the men of the clan who are busily patting him on the back and congratulating him. Someone has produced skins of ale that they are passing around. Agnes is alone, but it doesn’t make her any less intimidating or angry.
“Agnes, please. I have no quarrel with you.”
“Aye, you do, for you are the tool of the devil. Don’t think I’ll be taking my eyes off you. You come from nowhere, slip your hooks into one of our own, and now you look to claim a life among us? I see you for what you are.”
And there is her truth. She wanted Duncan for her own daughters. I’m the outsider, invading her stable world. Understanding her mindset is a whole lot different than not letting it affect me. Her words hurt, sharp and tearing, like a serrated blade being driven into my chest.
“I’ve done nothing to you,” I say angrily, clenching my teeth. “Nothing but help. I will do nothing but help. I swear this to you.”
“We do not need the help of the Devil,” she hisses. “The Lord Almighty will care for us, and I will pray, every night, until he strikes you down.”
I stop the harsh words on the tip of my tongue. All they will do is antagonize her and make the situation worse than it is. Alesoun moves through the clan towards us, and I latch onto her approach as an escape.
“And I will be grateful for your prayers Agnes.”
Her eyes widen and she sputters, spitting all over me as I walk past her. I smile, glad that in the end I got the best of her in words at least. Behind me she huffs and rejoins her coterie of hate.
“You’re making friends, lass,” Alesoun says.
“Aye,” I agree. “But you know she never liked me anyway.”
“She is for certain a woman filled with anger and hate.”
We walk together towards the cave. It’s our own retreat, a safe space, and right now I need it. Uncertainty, fear, and doubts plague my thoughts. My stomach churns, randomly pushing bile burning up my throat. Inside the coolness of the cavern, I pick up a skin of water and take small sips.
“Was I wrong?” I ask.
Alesoun stops grinding the herbs she is powdering. She doesn’t answer immediately, giving my question her full attention and thought.
“Do you love him?”
“I do.”