“This isn’t a choice; it’s insanity. What in all the blazes is wrong with you?”
I close the distance between us, anger pulsing in time with my heartbeat, ready to throw down with him.
“Put me back. Rob is in trouble.”
“Rob? Ach, how many boyfriends are you going to have?”
I punch him. It hurts my hand more than I expect but the smacking sound is satisfying, as is the way his head jerks to the side. He rubs his jaw, turns his head, and spits a bit of blood before turning back to face me. The anger roiling in his eyes is clear as day but he doesn’t move or speak.
“I’ll have as many ‘boyfriends’ as I damn well want, and I’ll guarantee you one thing. Not a damn one of them will be you!”
A tremble traces up my spine as I wait for him to respond. I’ll not be shamed for caring about what happens to Rob.
“This time,” he says, rubbing his jaw again.
“I don’t know what in the hell you mean by that,” I snap. “And I don’t have time for your cryptic bullshit.”
Anger flashes and he bursts forward. I sidestep his grasping hand, but he turns as if predicting my move and grabs my arm.
“We’ve played this game too many times,” he says. “Your choice is clear, and I’m not arguing if it’s the right one or not. This time isn’t for you and I; fine, but don’t you ever think I don’t care about you. You may not remember, but my feelings for you have never changed.”
His chest is heaving, and his words are barbs. I feel the truth in them no matter if it seems impossible.
“I’ve never loved you.”
“In this lifetime,” he adds.
There’s an enormity to his words. A gulf of blackness like I’m standing on a precipice staring into an abyss of unknowns. I could jump. Explore, learn, and find out more but my biggest enemy is time. How strange for a girl who has now twice traveled through ages but it’s true. I don’t have time and it seems I never do. I turn my back on that abyss to focus on what I do know.
“Dugald, I don’t have time for this. Send me back. I have to save Rob.”
“You have to not get yourself killed.”
“Isn’t that still my decision?”
“This isn’t only your life you’re throwing away,” he says, tightening his grip on my arm.
I look down at his hand and then jerk back. He lets me go and I take a step away, trying to breathe through the rage that burns my thoughts and makes me want to do nothing but make him wrong. I don’t find calm, but the anger recedes enough I can be at least slightly more rational.
“I wasn’t throwing my life away.”
“You would have been shot if I hadn’t found you in time.”
“Found me? You lost me?”
“That’s not the point. You were going to die.”
I spin to face him. “Dugald, for once in your Godforsaken life, answer my questions. You lost me?”
He snaps his mouth shut, clenching his jaw tight then nods.
“Aye.”
“How? How does any of this work?”
“I’m not going to try to explain the workings of it all to you. Suffice it to say when you traveled, it was unexpected. We didn’t know where you went or when.”
“Fine,” I say. “Can you send me back to Rob? I need him. He’s my best hope of saving Duncan.”