“Then you shall have to explore my library,” he murmured before bending and pressing a soft kiss to the curve of her neck.
“Shall I stay here?” she queried.
He nuzzled her neck and whispered against her skin. “I’m not certain exactly what I should do with you.”
“That makes me sound like a book. Where do you want to put me?” She requested. “On a shelf somewhere?”
He leaned back, studying her. “Oh, you are not meant for a shelf, of that I am certain. And you’ve made it clear to me from your behavior and your actions that you’re not meant for the silliness of the Season either. How have you survived as a debutante?”
“I don’t know,” she replied. She blew out a breath as if she had been holding tension for years over her strange predicament. “I think it’s because I had a sense of duty that it was what I was supposed to do. After all, I’m rather passionate about my family.”
She frowned. “Well, not my brother, but the history of it. And I thought for the longest time that the most important thing would be to marry a man of great power and to ensure that my family line continued on in that way. But I see that was incorrect.”
“I don’t follow. How were you incorrect?”
She paused, readying herself to make her rather unique point of view. “You see, the men who began my family, and women too, they seized whatever they wanted. They took it by force, by blood. They did not wait around for someone to pick them, fluffing their hair, conversing about lace! No, it was dog-eat-dog, Your Grace.”
He stared at her carefully and it was clear he admired her from that stare. “You best call me Garret if we are to be so intimate.”
“Garret,” she echoed, feeling the full effect of his approval. That approval urged her on. “They did not hesitate, and I will not hesitate either. And by seizing what I want? Well, I’ll be acting far more like them than waltzing about a ballroom wearing silk, maneuvering around a punch bowl, lacing barbs about invitations and supper parties.”
“I see,” he said.
“Do you?” She queried, her insides tightening as she waited for his verdict.
He propped himself up on his elbow to mirror her in a beautiful display of rippling sinew. “I think I do. My own actions have not been that of a typical duke.”
“Truly?” she asked.
He looked away for a moment and when he returned his gaze to hers, there was something melancholic there. “Some people, if you listen to them, will tell you that I am the height of scandal. I did things on the continent that, well, many do not approve of.”
“And what were those things?” she asked.
He shook his head. “They are too awful for your ears.”
She narrowed her gaze. “Nothing is too awful for my ears.”
“That is not true, Cat. Some things should never be uttered.”
“That’s not true,” she protested firmly, shocking herself with her intense proclamation. “If they are not uttered, they cannot be changed, or taken care of, or improved.” She softened her tone when she noted the pain in his gaze. “There can be no healing if one doesn’t ever forgive, or mention what has happened.”
He swallowed and then rolled away from her.
The bed felt instantly cold, and she sat up, clutching the bedclothes to her. “Forgive me, I’ve said something wrong.”
“You haven’t said anything wrong,” he growled without looking back, the muscles in his naked back evident in the firelight. He drove a hand through his thick hair. “You’ve said something right. But I do not know if I’m capable of hearing it.”
Tentatively, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder, daring herself to be bold. “Then Ihavesaid something wrong. I did not mean to give you offense, Your Grace.”
“Garret,” he reminded.
“Garret,” she said, “it was not my intent.”
He shook his head and said softly, “Do not concern yourself.”
She did concern herself, and it was the opposite of what she should do. But she felt linked to him somehow. Theywerelinked. Despite the fact he had thrown her world into disarray. She admired him. Ardently. He’d shown himself to be above the petty vanities of their class.
“Well then,” she began, “what shall I do now? If you do not wish to share more intimacies?”