Rose stood staring at her sister, open-mouthed. Could it be true? Hope roared through her veins. Then, she moved to lead Mary to her bed.
“What were you thinking, running like that in your condition?”
“I had to get to you,” Mary grinned. “I had to tell you. I just grabbed Jacob’s horse and came.”
“You rode a horse as well! Mary! Anything could have happened to you.” But there was no anger in her admonishment. Rose was so happy right now she felt as if her chest was going to split.
“Do they think he is going to survive?” She asked.
“God, I hope not. I prayed so hard for this. You are saved, Rose. You do not have to marry him today."
Jennings was also smiling.
“I will go and let all the staff know," he told Rose. “I will take care of everything."
Rose looked back at Mary.
“What should I do? Am I expected to go to him? How will we know his condition?"
“Do you care?” Mary asked. “Stay as far away from him as possible and pray he doesn't make it. Oh, Rose, can you believe it? I could not countenance the idea of you marrying him. I did not know how I would survive it. I thought I would go mad.”
No, Rose thought,I did not know how I would survive it either.
After Mary had got her breath back, and Rose had said, “I can’t believe it,” about twenty times, she suggested they descended for breakfast, but Mary wanted to get home. “I must take care of the children so Jacob can sleep." She gave Rose a massive hug. “I am so happy I could cry.”
“Thank you,” Rose hugged her back hard. “But the horse stays here. You will take my carriage and no arguments.”
Rose closed her bedroom door and sat back down on the bed, giving in to the misery, fear, and dread she had been trying to hold in for weeks, as well as the loss. She wept for the loss of all her ambitions and dreams, as well as her independence, freedom, and Will. Above all, the loss of Will. Her dream had hijacked her, shown her everything she was missing, and even though she didn't have to stand before an altar and pledge her life to a man she not only didn't love but abhorred, she had still lost him, and the thought of that cut her in half.
Jennings took care of cancelling everything. There was a spring in his step she had not seen since before Ambrose died, and every one of the servants she encountered that day bestowed a huge smile upon her. Rose waited for news to come from London. She wondered what would have happened if Jacob had not been at the same gentleman's club. She would have been at the altar, waiting to seal her fate, and simply believed she had been jilted. She so wished she had been jilted.
Will woke with a head that was pounding like a blacksmith’s anvil. His mouth was dry, and his arms and legs ached as if he had been in a fistfight. Maybe he had, he thought. He had certainly been angry enough.
As he tried to sit up, he screamed out and fell back.
Slowly, Will, he told himself, as this time he edged gingerly into a sitting position, with his head hung down towards his knees. As he sat there, breathing deeply, trying not to heave, he realized there was a note pinned to his jacket lapel.
‘Your horse is at Adam Wolfe’s stables. Collect him in the morning.’ And then there was an address.
So how did I get home?he wondered. He had a very vague recollection of the night before. He just remembered drinking jug after jug of ale at a club he had never been to before. He hadn’t wanted to see anyone he might know.
Then, with a horrible rush of realization, he remembered why.
The loss hit him like a punch in his gut and almost made him gasp for breath.
Today was the day. What was the time?
It was already four pm.
So the deed was done by now. He had lost her.
How the hell did I sleep until four in the afternoon?He berated himself.
If he had awoken earlier, he would have had more time to get there and stop it. He remembered realizing during his maudlin drinking session the night before that he needed to go to her, to stop her, that his strategy had failed. But he'd been too far down his cups to steer his horse towards Sussex by then, and he'd simply replaced that urge with another ale.
He knew if he had gone, he would have stormed into the church, objected to the marriage of a brother and a sister-in-law, and told the entire congregation that Ernest was an abuser and that he and Rose had carnal relations, sullying her. Will reveled in his fantasy for a moment, picturing all the guests' expressions as he picked her up and carried her right out of that church. He was scoffing at himself even before the image faded. Who was he kidding? He would never do such a thing to her. He shook his head, but it hurt so bad that he had to stop.
So he had lost her for good. She had not come back to him. After Jacob’s visit, he had been sure she would send him a note at least. He had given Jacob time to get back to Sussex, and then he had waited all day the next day and the day after that. Nothing had come.