“I can’t impose on you. I should go to a hotel.”
Teruo stopped halfway up to the second floor, letting out a shaky breath. He couldn’t get the image of Shinji being choked out of his head. If he’d drove away without looking in the rearview mirror…
“No,” Teruo said. “Someone attacked you. Some invisible piece of shit that I’m going to kill once I get my hands on them.”
Shinji chuckled. “Not invisible, but I appreciate the thought.”
“I looked. There was no one there, though I didn’t walk farther once I heard you cough.”
“Thereiryokucan stretch over a few blocks. I don’t think the criminal was that far, but they probably interrupted the flow of the energy when they saw you. I was taken by surprise, otherwise I’d have blocked the energy.” He gave Teruo’s hand a squeeze. “If not for you, I’d be dead. Thank you for believing me and saving my life.”
Lost for words, Teruo just nodded and squeezed Shinji’s hand back before heading inside the bedroom. He rummaged through the wardrobe for a long-sleeved T-shirt and sweatpants and offered them to Shinji who was already halfway through taking off his clothes.
Teruo stared at Shinji’s deft fingers as he unbuckled his belt, pushing the slacks down his hips. Then he grabbed his undershirt and pulled it over his head, remaining only in his dark blue boxer briefs. They were so close to one another, Teruo could barely resist the temptation to make the gap between them disappear and bring Shinji flush against himself, to feel Shinji’s body beneath his palms, to keep Shinji safe in his arms.
Standing here, in the bedroom, made Teruo question his own judgment about breaking things up. But this wasn’t the rational part of him talking. This was his loneliness demanding him to repair the damage and he wished to act on his desires so much.
Not wanting to make things more awkward, Teruo kept quiet and turned his head away, giving the T-shirt and sweatpants to Shinji.
“Thank you, but it’s hot in your house. I’ll sleep in my underwear.”
“You’re ice cold.”
“Not anymore.” Shinji smiled. “It’s thanks to you.”
Teruo nodded and started undressing, his gaze focused on the shelves of his wardrobe, trying to ignore Shinji who had shifted closer.
“You’re shy now?” Shinji raised a brow. “We’ve seen each other naked. No need to avert your eyes.”
“I’m being polite.”
Shinji placed a hand to his chest in feigned shock. “Polite? Who are you and what have you done with the real Teruo?”
Teruo rolled his eyes, amused. “Don’t be an ass.”
“I’ll take the sofa. Can you give me a blanket and a pillow?”
“You’ll sleep in my bed,” Teruo said quickly before he had a chance to change his mind.
Shinji rested a shoulder on the wardrobe’s door. “I thought you said we’re done.”
“Just sleeping, not touching.” Teruo felt he was saying it more to himself rather than Shinji.
“Wasn’t worried about that. I get it.” He shrugged. “You don’t like me.”
“That’s not true.”
Shinji let out a frustrated sigh. “I told you I wanted us to be more than casual, but you rejected me. Didn’t even stop for a second to give it a thought.”
“No, Shinji—”
“I understand. It was the vanishing thing at Higashikurume and the crap I pulled with Yamato’s address. I’m very sorry about what I did with the address. But it feels like it’s more than that. Almost as if you took advantage of the situation to get out because you’re scared it’s turning serious.”
Teruo took a step back, eyes narrowing. “Please remember it was you who said ‘no strings attached’, not me,” Teruo said. “And yes, I am reluctant about commitment—for various reasons—but I didn’t want to get out of it. It’s… it’s the lies, Shinji…” Teruo’s hands flailed.
Shinji furrowed his brows. “We barely know each other. There’ll be more secrets between us. It’ll take time to be comfortable enough with each other and confess the absolute truth. Tell me, Teruo,” he said, “how honest are you with me, hm? How many personal details are you willing to share? Because you sure have demands from me. Come on, spill your secrets.”
Teruo bit his upper lip his stubbornness keeping him from admitting Shinji had a point.