Some nights, as he lied down in the cold bed and looked at the empty spot beside him, he wondered: would he ever find someone to warm up his bed again? He didn’t want to bring just any guy over, but he wasn’t sure if he was ready for a relationship either.
In his dream, Miyazaki rode him on this very same bed which Teruo hadn’t shared with anyone, ever. He liked the idea of Miyazaki being the one to fill it…
Teruo shoved that outrageous thought away, turned off the water and dried himself. He chose a dark gray suit and looked in the mirror to comb his hair to the side. Running a hand over his stubble, Teruo contemplated whether to shave it or not. He decided to keep it for now and, left the bedroom, heading down the stairs to the kitchen.
His two cats, Mochi and Dango, sprinted out the living room’s open door, meowing and pawing at his slacks.
“Mornin’ girls,” Teruo said. “Can’t play now, sorry.” He crouched and gave them a few good chin scratches, running his hand over their soft black fur before entering the kitchen.
He loaded the rice cooker and left it to cook as he put the pre-mademisosoup in a pot on the stove. He turned on the fish oven, poured in water to steam and placed two slices of salmon on the grill. As everything cooked, he beat eggs fortamagoyakiand set them in a rectangular pan.
Mochi and Dango stared at him with their big golden eyes, their fluffy tails sweeping the floor. Mochi was the loudest and gave him a long meow to show her displeasure at not receiving a portion of his food.
“You already ate, but fine. Just a small treat, okay?” He grabbed a can of wet food and poured two portions in their bowls.
Being at work so much, sometimes even in the weekend, meant his cats were home alone a lot, so he’d bought them a cat feeder and a water fountain, so they’d be well-fed at all times. Their upstairs room was full of toys climbing towers for them to play on. Megumi frequently joked that the cats owned his ass. They made him happy and filled some of the void in his heart. The void he rarely spoke about, even with Megumi. Each passing day and every time he put on this tough persona at work only added more darkness to that void.
At home, he could be himself, but what was the point if he had no one here to really see him?
But it was all right. Easier and better this way. No feelings, no risk of getting hurt.
~ * ~
He reached the office at half past eight. After enjoying a cigarette, he went to grab a cup of coffee while waiting for Miyazaki to arrive.
Megumi was inside, standing by the coffee machine and glaring at it as if it would make it work faster if she did that. Knowing Megumi’s glares, he wouldn’t have been surprised if she scared the machine into popping out a coffee in half the time.
She turned and smiled when she saw Teruo. “Hey.”
“Hey. Fell asleep last night while we were texting. Sorry about that.”
“No problem. Been rough, huh? Two murders in two days. And right after that double homicide too.”
“Yeah.” He rubbed his shoulder. The knife wound no longer hurt and he was glad to be completely off pain meds. “I have the court trial for that one in three weeks. I need to call Ishida about it.”
Megumi winced. “I don’t think he’s gonna be happy. He’s probably relaxing in Traffic Division right now.”
“Well, I wouldn’t call it relaxing,” Teruo said, “but better than blood and organs on sofas or wires wrapped around necks.”
“Speaking of,” Megumi said. “How’s Miyazaki? Is he any good?”
He’s amazing in bed according to my fantasies.
Megumi was obviously referring to Miyazaki’s performance as Teruo’s work partner, not bed partner, so Teruo nodded. “Yeah, yeah. He’s okay.”
She picked up her cup from the coffee machine and placed Teruo’s inside. “It’s good you haven’t scared him off yet,” she said.
“No worries, I still have time.” Teruo grinned. “But, nothing seems to faze him. He takes everything I throw at him with a smile, so I have a feeling he’ll survive me.”
“He’d better, for your own good, otherwise you’re done. I doubt Superintendent Yoshida will forgive another misstep.”
“Truth to be told, Miyazaki’s doing a better job than I expected.” He picked up his cup and took a sip. “I haven’t really gotten a chance to ask him in detail about that thing with his former superior officer.”
“Her death?”
“Yeah.” Teruo glanced outside the kitchen’s door to see if there was anyone around, then spoke in a low voice, “I asked the superintendent about the incident. It didn’t go well. He got angry, told me to never speak of it again and probably told HR not to gossip anymore either.”
Megumi’s eyes went wide. “That’s what it was.”